Uncertainty Grips Us All

Well, as I said last week, the new Survivor series has started...and for once, I am not sure if I am totally in to this one...it reminds me a whole lot of the Amazon one...which was never my favourite. Anyways, here is my recap of last nights adventures

On night six of SURVIVOR: VANUATU, the Yasur tribe was forced to make their first, dreaded trek to Tribal Council where they ousted Dolly Neely, in a strategic decision. Finding herself the swing vote in a tribe of two factions, Dolly quickly learned that power is not necessarily a good thing on these islands. Fearing Dolly's control, members from both of Yasur's alliances sent the 25-year-old sheep farmer home in a five-to-four decision.
After witnessing her torch being snuffed out, Dolly admitted, "I wasn't cut out for this. I'm way too simple and I just belong on the farm." Well, duh...of course you do sweetheart.
After suffering yet another freezing and sleepless night, the Lopevi tribe awoke on day four in serious need of a morale boost. Desperately needing to boil their undrinkable water, the thirsty Lopevi tribe banded together in an attempt to build a fire. Just as they were close to igniting a flame by friction, the Vanuatu skies sent down rain, causing all hopes of fire to be washed away. "We know exactly that if we don't get water soon, we're going to be hurting. These girls are going to kick our tails," confessed Travis Sampson. But really, the girls could "kick their tails" anyhow.
Hungry beyond belief, the women of Yasur worked to find food. After struggling to bring down a patch of bananas from a tall tree, the tribe cooked up what was to be a feast of plantains. To their dismay, the tribe found the bananas to be infested with maggots. Some of the tribe members continued to eat them while others simply fell apart. "These young ones, I don't know what they was thinking. If it comes down to eating maggots, I'm gonna eat maggots. Protein. Eat 'em. Shut up!" complained Twila Tanner.
As the tribes convened for the Reward Challenge, Host Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would involve balance and teamwork. Eight castaways from each tribe would stand on a narrow beam over water. One at a time, the Survivors would have to move down the beam, squeezing past their fellow tribe members. If they fall off, they would have to start over. Also, the castaway moving down the beam would not be allowed to touch more than one tribe member at a time. The first tribe to get all eight members to the finish platform would win a Reward of pillows, blankets, and a hammock. Also, the Lopevi tribe, if they were to win, would secure flint, which would help to build a much-needed fire.
The competition started out with members of both tribes getting acquainted with one another in a physical way. After a few failed attempts, Yasur tribe member Eliza Orlins, made her way across, followed by her tribe mate, Julie Berry. Brady Finta, made his way to the finishing platform, allowing the men of Lopevi to tighten the race. The women increased their lead to four tribe members to one as Twila crossed over to the final platform. Lopevi simply could not find their way back despite Ami Cusack, being forced to start over.
After Ami made her way across, the women of Yasur made easy work of the competition and finished well ahead of Lopevi. As the Yasur tribe secured the victory, they celebrated with a dance and cheered to the chagrin of the Lopevi tribe members.
This is my least favourite part of any series of this show. Stupid Jerk! What was his problem anyways...all they did was dance! GRRR...okay, here is what happened: After returning to camp from his second straight defeat, Lopevi member Rory Freeman, was furious as to what he considered poor Yasur sportsmanship. Not sharing in his anger, Rory's tribe mates found it strange that Yasur's celebration bothered him as much as it did. The two losses, coupled with Rory's anger and lack of water, conspired to create a Lopevi tribe that was moving toward disarray.
Meanwhile at Yasur, the tribe awoke refreshed, thanks to their new blankets and pillows. Still hungry, the women of Yasur chased a chicken that had wandered into their camp. Twila's attempts to kill the chicken were in vain; however, the eggs left behind did help quell their hunger. "We almost had us a chicken!" she exclaimed.
Despite all the members getting along, factions were still forming at Yasur. After learning that she had been a target, Twila formed an alliance with Dolly. Dolly and Twila's alliance crossed over the factional lines at Yasur, which were divided between the younger and older women of the tribe. "The younger group would be Mia, Julie, Dolly, Eliza and Lisa. And the older group means more like Scout, Twila, and I think Leann's in the older group," observed Ami.
As the tribes assembled for an Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained this competition would test communication, as well as teamwork. The tribes would be required to assemble a series of platforms to an observation deck. Each platform would be made from puzzle pieces. Blindfolded, the castaways would need to retrieve these puzzle pieces from the land and sea with the aid of a fellow tribe member who is not blindfolded. Once all the pieces are gathered, the tribe would then remove their blindfolds in order to put together their platform puzzles. Once the platforms are pieced together, the Survivors would then race to the top of the observation deck. The first tribe to finish all of the platform puzzles would win the crucial Immunity. If Lopevi were to win, they would also receive their coveted flint.
***Now a little side note, this is one of my favourite challenges because so many people run into each other and there is a real possibility that someone will get hurt...but really...it is just funny***
The Challenge started off in chaos as the blindfolded members bumped into each other, as well tree roots and puzzle pieces. Lopevi took the lead by retrieving eight puzzle pieces to Yasur's five. As the action continued, Yasur tribe mate Eliza asked Scout Cloud Lee, if they needed to get another puzzle piece, to which Scout replied, "No, we're good." Scout was mistaken, as there was one final Yasur puzzle piece in the water.
Yasur did not succeed as Lopevi took off their blindfolds and started to assemble their puzzle. Lopevi never looked back as they made quick work of the rest of the puzzles in order to claim their first Challenge of SURVIVOR: VANUATU, which would bring them fire as well as the crucial Immunity.
After experiencing their first defeat, Yasur returned to camp with the unenviable task of having to vote someone out of the tribe at the evening's Tribal Council. The factions and politicking went into high gear with Leann Slaby, and Eliza being on the chopping block. Finding herself as the swing vote, Dolly voiced her concern. "My head is completely spinning and I'm afraid because I don't want to make the wrong choice. I'm definitely in the middle and I hate that."
In the end, Dolly definitely had good reason to hate being in the middle because she was perceived as a threat to the rest of her tribe. The women of Yasur decided Dolly's power was simply too strong, and they chose to eliminate her in the five-to-four decision. Dolly became the second castaway to be voted out of SURVIVOR: VANUATU.

Myself

"A Human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself."
-Henry Winkler

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know
I want to be able as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of person I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all man's respect;
And here in the struggle for fame and wealth,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I am a bluffer, and empty show.
I can neve hide myself from me:
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know;
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and guilt-free.
Peer Counsellor Workbook

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse

Have we ever stopped and let ourselves realize just how much time we spend nodding or winking at blind horses? So often, we believe that it is absolutely essential that others hear what we are saying and understand it completely. If they don't seem to be understanding us, we believe that if we speak more slowly, explain what ever we want them to understand more carefully, and raise the decibels ever so slightly than they will finally get it. It is important to remember that by our first utterance, we can usually get a pretty good idea if someone has any interest whatsoever in understanding what we are saying. If they have no iterest, give up. Most people tend to "not understand" what you are saying to them, because they generally don't care what you are talking about. Not saying these people are being rude in not caring, but it might just be beyond their level of comprehension thus none of their interest is there. If this person points out to you that they really do want to understand what you are talking about, explain it a third time, but then give up, there is no point in acting silly about it. Because really, nodding, winking and blabbling when someone has their eyes and ears closed is silly.

Where were you?

I realize that I am a few days late in this tribute, but what can I say, I am never a punctual person, I can count the number of times I was at work at 7:15 on the dot or earlier on one hand for the entire summer...some how that does not leave me in the "good books" maybe that is why I failed my evaluation...nope, not true, I need therapy.
But anyways, the tribute...September 11 2001. Where were you? I for one was at BLEC, in class when we found out what happened, and honestly, when I was first told, I didn't believe it, I thought it was a big lie because no one could take out the US, it was impossible in my mind. But apparently I was wrong. It was a horrible day, and people will never forget it, I know that I won't. It is one of those days that will live on to infamy...kinda like D-day and Pearl Harbour and Columbine. September 11 will always be remembered for the horrible acts again the States. But what about the horrible acts that the States are committing against Iraq and Afganistan? There are innocent people there too! Wow, I think I spent too much time with Andy Hill this summer...not that it is a bad thing. But yeah, this whole blog is based on a song that I was listening to this afternoon...it made me cry...I know shock, horror, gasp.

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
On that September day
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock
At the sight of that dark smoke
Rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger,
in fear of your neighbour
Or did you just lie down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people
Who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below
Did you burst out with pride for
The Red, White and Blue
And the heros who died,
just doing what they do
Did you look up to Heaven
for some sort of answer
And look at yourself
And what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference between Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love
are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is Love

Where were you when the world stopped turning
On that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty 'cause your a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother
And tell her you love her
Did you dust off your Bible at home

Did you open your eyes
Hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunrise
For the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night
And think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church
And hold hands with some strangers
Go out and give your own blood
Did you just stay home
And cling tight to your family
And thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I don't think I could tell you
The difference between Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is Love

And the greatest is love
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning
On that September day?

Update

~It is my sister's 23rd birthday today, so happy birthday Jen!

~Even though I am not engaged (please note the bold of that NOT) I have found the wedding dress of my dreams

~I am still currently unemployed...although I have apparently been added to a supply list, which is not bad at all.

~The interview I had on Saturday was horrible, I mean, think of the worst conversation you have ever taken part in and times it by 10 and then add in an ex-boyfriend named Dave, and you have got my interview pegged...want details, write me

~My room is now completely finished, all the pictures are now hung on the wall, so it definately has the feel of home.

~I was told today that I looked like an Indian Princess...not sure if that is a good thing or not

~I ran into an old friend at Swiss Chalet today, it was kinda strange, but they told me that I didn't look like a slut anymore, so that is a very good thing.

~I cancelled band practice tonight, and the band got angry at me...what is with that?

~I tripped going into the church sanctuary today, but really, what else is new.

~I went to the team baseball party yesterday and it made me cry because the head coach was saying good bye to all the boys because it didn't look like he would have the coaching job next summer and in the middle of the speech, his cell phone rang and sure enough we have a team next summer, so all the boys are going to play together one last time...so of course I cried more, because that is what I do...and then I got kissed on the cheek by all 11 boys...my brother did not kiss my cheek and one kid didn't even show.

~The boys were given Beer Mugs as their "trophey" for the season, creative right there

~I got a special thank you, even though I did not do anything this year.

~I am being attacked by the kitten right now

~I have not seen my best friends in a really long time, I think I need to fix that.

~I have not seen my boyfriend in a really really long time...but I will be going out east in aprox. 49 days. YAY!

~I am going back up to camp on Friday...yay...why am I not excited about this...oh right Kathy will be there.

I am done. Good night

Some things never change

Well folks, a new season of Survivor is upon us and in my old fashion, I shall provide for you all a run down of each weeks antics. But I would like to just say Congrats to Kalan Porter, the new Canadian Idol, may he serve our country proud.

Thirty-nine days, eighteen new castaways, two tribes separated by gender and one frightening ring of fire. SURVIVOR: VANUATU--ISLANDS OF FIRE has begun. On night three, the newly formed Lopevi tribe was forced to make their first dreaded trek to Tribal Council, where they voted out Brook Geraghty, in a shocking decision. Convinced the tribe would vote out Chris Daugherty, for singlehandedly losing a vital Challenge, Brook was blindsided when he realized he was the victim of an early, unseen alliance within the tribe. Leaving Tribal Council, Brook remarked, "I got beat, bottom line. Some of them got me. They got me good."
Aboard a boat in the clear waters within the island nation of Vanuatu, eighteen strangers from different walks of life eagerly awaited the chance to outwit, outplay, and outlast each other in pursuit of the coveted million-dollar prize. The Survivors were awestruck to see hundreds of indigenous Vanuatu tribe members quickly rush the boat while shouting out a fierce battle cry. Host Jeff Probst explained that before the castaways were going to be welcome on these islands replete with black magic, sorcery and tribal rituals, they would first have to pass local initiation rites.
Upon reaching the shore, the castaways were greeted by spear-wielding Vanuatu warriors, who separated the Survivors by gender. It became obvious that the men were getting treatment superior to that given the women. The Vanuatu tribe Chief offered each man a local drink known as kava while the women were left to watch. After the Vanuatu warriors sacrificed a pig in a ritual, they smeared the blood on the faces of the male castaways, and then issued a challenge. If a male castaway could retrieve a spiritual stone from the top of a pole laden with pig fat, it would bring them good luck. If the male castaway were to fail, then the women would receive the stone and the luck. The first male Survivor chosen for this task was Brady Finta. Brady took to the task with perseverance as he shimmied up the pole and snatched the stone, thus starting off his journey with much-needed good luck.
After being divided into two tribes separated by gender, the Vanuatu castaways headed their separate ways through the dark night in order to find their respective camps. The men's tribe was called Lopevi, while the women were now the Yasur tribe. As the Yasur tribe negotiated the dangerous rocky beach path, factions quickly developed. Scout Cloud Lee, decided she would stop the trek in order to rest until daylight. She was joined by other tribemates while another group of Yasurs, led by Eliza Orlins, wanted to move on. Tension filled the air. "I didn't want to be too pushy because I didn't want to be the odd person out," confessed Eliza.
As the men of Lopevi worked to find their camp in the darkness, they had problems with navigation. Rory Freeman, attempted to lead the tribe. After he pled his case, it was clear that Rory's efforts were in vain and had alienated him from the rest. "Rory, I don't think he's gonna fit in. There's one in every bunch," complained Brook.
After finding their camp and enjoying a good night's sleep, the women of Yasur awoke with the task of building a shelter. It was clear right away that certain members of the tribe thought they had more of a work ethic than others. As Twila Tanner, Ami Cusack, and Scout worked hard to build their shelter, some of the younger members of the tribe, including Eliza and Dolly Neely, basked in the sun while enjoying a relaxing swim. "I call all these sorority girls 'bowheads' because they all like to hang together," observed Scout, "They're like cattle."
Meanwhile at the Lopevi camp, the men were in serious need of fire in order to boil their water. John Palyok, vigorously attempted to ignite a flame, but his efforts were in vain. After the tribe worked to set up their camp, Chad Crittenden, stunned his tribemates by revealing he has a prosthetic foot. Chad explained that he had recently lost his foot in a battle with cancer. The rest of Lopevi were surprised and inspired, but not necessarily merciful. "All the power to him, I totally think that's inspirational," confessed Brook, "but if I have to vote his ass out of here tomorrow, I'm still gonna vote his ass out of here tomorrow."
As the tribes met Jeff Probst for the first Challenge of SURVIVOR:VANUATU, they learned it would be a combination Immunity and Reward Challenge. Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would be an obstacle course requiring the use of many skills. The castaways first had to go beneath a mud crawl and solve a box maze. Following the box maze, the Survivors must then cross over a very narrow balance beam to light a fire in order to drop a torch. The torch is needed to light a final wok, which would signify the victory, as well as Immunity from the first Tribal Council of SURVIVOR: VANUATU. As a bonus, the winning tribe would also enjoy the reward of flint to help build a much-needed fire.
The competition got off to a dirty start as both tribes navigated the mud crawl. The men made quick work of the puzzle maze and took their lead to the balance beam, where they struggled to cross it one by one. The men maintained their lead until Chris simply could not cross the balance beam. As Chris tried and tried, his tribe witnessed the women of Yasur overtake the lead and go on to the build a fire. Despite being cheered on by his Lopevi tribemates, Chris still could not cross the beam, and the Yasur tribe ignited the wok and torched their way to the crucial Immunity.
After returning to camp from the crushing defeat, most of the Lopevi members deemed it a forgone conclusion that Chris would be the first one voted off because of his balance beam failure. Some members of the tribe had other ideas, however, as Lea Masters, started to build an alliance on the fly with some of the older members of Lopevi. Lea acknowledged that the younger tribe members might be stronger, but they were also cockier and therefore must be dealt with. As Lea explained, "I'm gonna pick the young ones off one by one until there's only four people left."
In the end, Lea's plan was off to a good start as young Brook was shocked to witness the five out of nine votes that made him the first castaway to be voted out of SURVIVOR: VANUATU.

Hanging By a Moment

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I've started
I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me
Now I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
Standing here until you make me move
Hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running aand I'm not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That would change my mind
There is nothing else
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and I'm not sure which way to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

This song, most people feel that it is a beautiful love song, one that the artist wrote for the girlfriend. But really, I find that it is a beautiful love song, but not to some random girl, but for God. For me, it is the line in the song "Forgetting all I'm lacking,Completely incomplete. I'll take your invitation. You take all of me" Perfect example of our relationship with Christ Jesus. When it comes to making a decision to follow Christ, you need to forget that you are incomplete and just accept the invitation as what it is, a way of salvation.

"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for"

That quote is from a Maria Von Ebner-Eschenbach. When I first heard it, it made me angry, who does this person think she is, telling me that I am vain. But when I actually took the time to think about what she was saying, it made complete sense. It is true, people tend to get offended and make a fuss about things that other people say about them. Who cares what other people think of you? The only opinion in this world that should matter to any of us, is the opinion that God, our Heavenly Father thinks of us. It should not matter to any of what Jimmy Ray Bob Sue says about us, only God matters.
I was reading, I do that a lot now that I am unemployed, and in one of my books "Beautiful in God's Eyes" I am learning how to think and act like the Women of Proverbs 31. I have a lot of respect for those women. Now the real point of the book is to teach us women how to be loving and loyal wives...and well...I hate to break it to everyone, but I am not married! I know, shock of all shocks, who would have guessed it? But anyways, my point, this book is saying that before you can be that loyal and loving wife to someone, you have to a)Love yourself, and b) Love God with your whole heart. I have b) down pretty good, and well...the a) is coming.
Wow, I got off topic a little there, what I am trying to get across to you, is don't care so much about what others think of you. I used to do it all the time, if someone made a comment about me...say, that I need therapy, I would let it get to me and get all pouty and such, come on, you all know it to be true. But I am working on this problem, (not the fact that I need therapy, that is a given fact) but rather that I take what other people say about me to heart, and that is not what God wants for me, He wants me to be happy with who I am, with who He made me to be. How are you feeling about who you are?
I thought for good measure, because I have missed it so muchm why not throw in a Jenelle's song lyric for the day.

Who I am
Jessica Andrews

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be all right
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face I know
I'll be all right
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am young but I'm able

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am.

Forget about the bad stuff? But it is so hard

I have been sitting behind the keyboard of this here computer all afternoon, trying desperately to come up with something to write about. I have had no luck. So, I thought back to the summer, that is what I appear to do a lot these days. My mother challenged me to try to think of 5 good things that came out of the summer, and none of them could be "Graham came to visit me" because I could just use that for all 5. So, it has been tough, I tend forget the good stuff, sort of filter them out and focus on all of the horrible rotten things that had happened. So after much thought, I came up with 5 things that made the entire summer worth while.
One: Making a new group of friends that I know will last a lifetime. I went into the summer, knowing who each person was on the staff, but not "really knowing" them. I knew their names, I could picture their faces, but I knew nothing about who any of them really were. Who knew that some of the people I became closest to would be a 15 year old boy and a 16-year old girl. Who knew that the person I depended on the most would be the one person I thought I would not like from when I was younger. I for one, had no clue what was in store for me. So, thank you Beth and Brian and Emily, for being one of the good things this summer.
Two: Vesper's Point. How could I make a list of good things this summer and not include Vesper's. It was my life line. The one place that I could go when everything was crazy and just pray and cry and no one would disturb me. That place has always held a special place in my heart. That is the place where I first accepted Jesus into my heart. It is the place that every Saturday Night while I was a Sr. Hi camper, I would cry with my fab 4. It is God's special place. So no, I could not just forget about it, it would be the only thing on the list if my mother would let me get away with that.
Three: Sr. Hi Worship. Josh Hill said it best when he told me that he would still pay the $250 to come up to camp, if all they did all day was have worship. I pointed out to him that worship can and should take part all day in our lives. I too would have been content paying that much money to just sing all day long. Having the Hill brothers come up to camp to lead us made the best of the summer. I knew there was no way that it could be destroyed for us, God would not let that happen.
Four: Perm Staff Campfire: I know, what is with this? Jenelle West actually putting campfire on her list? What is going on. No, I specifically said "Perm Staff" campfire. There is a difference. This was the time when we could all forget the stresses of the day and just act crazy and stupid and let it all out. It made the bad days seem brigher when we knew that we could have fun and not have to worry about "the boss" yelling at us anymore.
Five: Courage: This may seem like a strange thing to up on the 5 good things about camp. But really, I would say that me finally getting up the nerve to tell my "boss" what I think of her was a good thing for me. Most of you know that I tend to avoid conflict at all costs. If I have a problem with someone, I tend to run for the hills and pretend it never happened. For once, I stood up for myself and that felt really good.
Six: Graham coming to visit: Yeah, I know this one doesn't count...that is why I put it down as number 6, it really was one of the best experiences of the entire summer. When he came up, I could forget about the problems and just enjoy the time I had with him. He has a habit of making me forget the bad things, and that is a really good thing. One of the main reason I love him is for this very reasons. When I need him, he just always seems to be there...even though he is now in New Brunswick, it always seems that the days I feel down, or desperate for a friendly face, there is a letter or an email to lift me up. So, Thank you Graham for always being there for me. I really do love you

New and Improved

So, here's the deal. I have taken a leave of absence. But now I am back. Yay! I am hoping that I will be able to post things more often, but I am only human and I will most likely fail. I know that you will all forgive me though, because that is who you all are. As you can see from this sight, I have been doing a little modifying, and this site should become more exciting in the near future.

Lately, because I am currently unemployed, I have been doing a lot of reading, and I came across my favourite poem in one of my books and it has led me to change my approach on this site. The poem, if you did not notice is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. I feel that this is what I have done over the summer, I took the road not travelled as often, and it may have left me a little bitter and jaded, but I have grown in spirit and as a person, I hope for the better.

For those who do not know, I spent the summer working up at Camp Hermosa http://www.camphermosa.org It was honestly one of the most difficult times of my entire life, but I survived, (just barely) and I feel good about the fact that I stood up for my convictions and dealt head on with the problem of the summer. That was an impowering experience, one that I hope I never have to deal with again however.

Let me close today's entry by simply saying, if you have a problem with a co-worker, whether it is your boss or your friend, don't let it simmer all summer, it will just blow up in your face in the end.

More Wisdom from Good Old Chuck

Okay, the rain and thunder have temporarily stopped, so I am feeling inspired to finish the blog I started last time. Chuck Swindoll, I find him to be one of the most inspiring preacher/authors I have ever read, him and well, of course, Max...maybe I will one day talk about my adoration for Max, as well as the adoration of Chuck, but that might take a little time, because I have not yet read all the books that these two men have published, so for now, you will have to just except me at my word, and enjoy the little tidbits of Chuck that I throw your way. One of the things that Charles Swindoll talks about the most, is something that most people in my life struggle with, as well as myself...that is the communication breakdowns. And how sometimes, the things that are most important to us, that we really feel need to be told to others, are the things that end up "lost in translation" They are the things that no matter how many times you work them through your brain, the moment they arrive at your mouth, it is jumbled and you end up looking like a fool. It is almost like Murphey's Law. The more important the statement, the worse you screw it up. In Chuck's book of illustrations, he devotes over 4 pages to the importance of communcating clearly with others...I want to share with you a few of his examples.

Communication pg.99-105 (Swindoll's Ultimate Book)

Punctuation in communication is important. Think about the importance of a comma in this little note: A naval wife asked the church to pray, "John Anderson, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." When read aloud without the first two commas: "John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."

A woman who travelled abroad without her husband got to Paris abd found this fabulous bracelet she'd been looking for. ANd so she sent a wire back home saying, "I have found this beautiful bracelet, one I've been looking for all my life. It only costs $7,500. Do you think I can buy it?" Her husband wired her back immediately with a short but firm reply, "No, price too high!" And signed his name. But in the transmission the comma was left out and the message read, "No price too high" Oh, she was thrilled! Omitting that comma almost put that guy in a coma.

Okay, and this last one is an oldie but a goodie, one of my personal favourites from his book that I have read a thousand times at least "Come before Winter"

The following is a series of actual quotes taken from insurance and accident forms. They are actual words of people who tried to summarize their encounters with trouble, but albeit, as important as their claims were, their mouths refused to word it properly.
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions."
"I thought my wondow was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand through
it."
"I collided with a stationary truck that was coming the other way."
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit
him."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an
accident."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and then vanished."
"The pedestrian had no idea what way to go, so I ran him over."
"I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
street when I struck him."
"I saw the slow-moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."
"I was trhown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by
some stray cows."

There, I hope this gives some insight as to how messages can get out of control. So, my advice is to slow down, think carefully and be prepared to handle the fall out if in fact, the message gets messed up.

When the rain has stopped

I have been sitting in my window for about an hour before I wrote this, and I was watching the rain fall on the earth. It is simple things like the rain, that stops me dead in my tracks and makes me think about the creation of the world. It makes me shout "PRAISE GOD!" How does it effect you?

The Wisdom of Chuck Swindoll

I was lucky enough to go to Assemby this past week...for those who do not know, Assemby is the big annual meeting type thing of the Baptist Chruches of Ontario and Quebec...I was not lucky enough to be a delegate this year because apparently I was "too young to understand the issues around same sex marriages" but I went as a visitor anyways. But this blog is really about a great book me and my father discovered when checking out the book store there, it is called "Swindoll's Ultimate Book of Illustrations and Quotes" Now me being a huge fan of good old Chuck, I wanted to buy it for myself...but as my father wisely put it "why buy for yourself when pastors have a book allowance" Yay daddy! But I shall share with you a few of my favourite tidbits.

After a While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding hands and chaining a soul,
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security
After a while, you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child
After a while, you learn to build your roads of today because
tomorrow's grounds are too uncertain for plans
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much. So plant your own garden
and decorate your own soil instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you rerally can endure
...that you really are strong
...and you really do have worth

Okay, the rest will have to wait, I need to get home before it pours

Tide, tide, whate'er betide, There's aye the Haigs of Bemersyde

Well, these last two weeks have been hectic. I have started to look into researching my family history and thanks to my grandma degear, I discovered my scottish heritage...which is really cool. My family comes from the Haig Clan, which are currently living in the town of Melrose in Southern Scotland. Here is the history of the Haig House, called Bermersyde. here

Long and Interesting Facts (not all the same as the email)

Spell your first name backwards: ellenej

Where do you live?: Brampton

DESCRIBE YOUR:

[Wallet]: it is a very nice, made by Graham, duct tape wallet with little fish stickers stuck on by me

[Jewelry worn daily]: usually, silver hoop earings, and my heart neckless
[Shoes]: seriously, I have about 15 pairs...
[Handbag]: a multi-coloured one that Jen brought me back from Bolivia

[Favorite top]: ummm..either my Punk Princess tank top or one of my Princess shirts

[Piercing]: one in each ear, and my belly button

[What you are wearing now]: a pair of jeans and a t-shirt

[On my mind]: everything from school to work to friends to relationships...it's a mess in my mind

[Wishing]: that someone could just make all my decisions for me

[Talking to]: Graham, who else would I be talking to

[Eating]: nothing at the present moment, although, I did just finish a yummy cookie

[favorite movie]: I seriously do not like this question because I never know how to answer it...I love movies, it is true, I really enjoy watching movies, but when it comes to picking my favourite...I have so many...let's go with The Princess Bride and Ever After...yes, those ones...although...I also like the Wal-Mart Baby movie, and Gone in 60 seconds...the Matrix Trilogy was really good as well...see...dangerous question...move on

[something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: ummm...graduating, going to hermosa, seeing my friends and family, seeing Graham more...ummm...that is all

[The last thing you ate?]: I just said that I finished eating a cookie...it was yummy...but before that I had a turkey sandwich from Timmy's

[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: the real question here, is what is Jenelle not deathly afraid of...that is what is on everyones mind...but I will give you my top 5 fears (in no particular order) being alone, thunderstorms, heights, flying and needles
[Do you believe in love]: that is a definate yes
Do you believe in soul mates]: I believe that I do, and I believe that not everyone finds theirs...but I have mine
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: no, I believe in LUST at first sight

[Do you believe in forgiveness]: yes, I am a big fan of forgiveness

[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: I'm not that big on "pigging out" but I do like the occasional Swedish berry, or Ketchup Chips

[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: why good people sometimes do really stupid things and hurt the people they care about

[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: yes, I have a lot of people that I am missing right now, but it would take me years to write them all down, so here goes...if you know me (which all of you do because I am sending this to you) and you have not seen me today, then I miss you

In the last 24 hours, have you:

[Cried?]: actually yes, I have, but this is me we are talking about, you would know something was wrong if I didn't cry today

[Gotten sick]: yes, I was sick just a few minutes ago, stupid peanuts!
[Eaten?]: yes, I like to eat, I do it all the time

[Been kissed?]: unfortunately no :-(

[Felt stupid?]: I always feel stupid, goes with being me

[told someone you loved them]: yes, I did!

[Met someone new?]: Actually yes, a father on the baseball team brought his new girlfriends, so I met her

[Moved on?]: no...I can't think of anything that I would need to be moving on about...

[Talked to an ex?]: no, nor would I want to

[Missed an ex?]: HA, not in their lives

[Talked to someone you have a crush on?]: yes, actually I did

[Had a serious talk?]: not really serious...but not comical either, I mean it could have lead to something more serious in talking nature, but we kept it on the down low

[Hugged someone?]: no...:-(

[Fought with your parents?]: it would not be a complete day if I didn't fight with my mother...I got yelled at like 7 times in one hour today, YIPPEE

[Done something your parents said no to]: see above

Would you rather be with friends or on a date?]: I would want to be with friends, because a "date" for me, would be with my boyfriend, who is my best friend
[Do you have a job?]: yes, well...I will...I am working at camp

[Do you like being around people?]: sometimes, unless I don't like the people, then no

Who…

[Have you known the longest]: I lied, Jen Ford, I have known her since I was a baby, she reminded me of this fact


[Do you argue the most with?]: ummm other then my parents...probably...I have no idea...I am not really a arguing type of person

[Do you always get along with?]: everyone

[Is the most trustworthy?]: well it's obviously God...but Graham, Amy, April, or Em, Karl
[Makes you laugh the most?]: The Fab 4 plus 2 whenever we are all together

[Has been there through all the hard times?]: Graham, April, Amy, Em and Karl for sure

[Has the coolest parents?]: ummm...Graham, his mom is great, Amy's parents are awesome as well

[Is the most blunt?]: April or Graham

[Is the smartest?]: Me! pick me, pick me

Other stuff...

[Who is your role model?]: Jesus or my father

[Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?]: who hasn't...it's what you do in high school

[Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?]: sure have...not that I am proud of this fact, I am such a geek

[Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?]: no...well someone who cares about me and will treat me right...thats about it really...everything else is just bonus

[Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you]: all the time! No, really, this is me, I run away from problems not cause them

[Rather be the dumper or dumped?]: both are horrible, so I pick neither

[Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?]: relationships, they mean a whole heck of a lot more in the long run

Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?]: actually I do

[want to get married?]: yes, very much so

[want kids?]: yes, I want a whole bunch of kids, no less than 6

[Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?]: Yes, I can wholeheartedly say that I know exactly who it is that I am going to marry

[What is your favorite part of your emotional being?]: my emotional what? who wrote these questions? I have an emotional being? News to me? When do I get to meet this being?

[Are you happy with you?] yes, I am happy with me, we are very good, we understand each other

[Are you happy with your life?]: somethings need adjusting but that will take time, so I am happy with where I am right now

MORE AND MORE AND MORE

Have you ever had a song written about you: well...one year, at Camp Hermosa, my last year as a camper, the Fab 4 wrote some really crazy songs, and there were some about me...and my feet

3) What song makes you cry: again, what songs do not make me cry? Currently, any love song will make me cry

4) What song makes you happy: right now, anything Country, or by Dashboard confessional...really As Lovers go...but check out my website...for a complete list of happy songs check below

5) What do you like to listen to before bed: anything, I enjoy falling asleep to music

a p p e a r a n c e

HEIGHT: 5'4, or 5'5 not sure

HAIR: it is quite the mix right now, there is some blond, some brown, some black and some red all mixed in there and it is actually getting pretty long

SKIN COLOR: well...right now I have a little bit of a tan from a few weeks back...but normally peachy pink

EYE COLOR: brown

TATTOOS: no, none of those...I don't think I would ever get a tattoo...

r i g h t n o w

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO: When you Kiss Me --Shania

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH: actually...I'm not sure...maybe water...does that even have a taste? I think not

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE: For once, it is not raining, it is a little chilly out, but not raining

d o y o u

GET MOTION SICKNESS: depends, if I read in the car, then yes

HAVE A BAD HABIT: who doesn't..I have enough to field an army.

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: sometimes, more so my dad than my mom

LIKE TO DRIVE: I do not drive

f a v o r i t e s

TV SHOW: 7th Heaven, Gilmore Girls, Charmed, Everwood, One Tree Hill, American Idol and Survivor, OLTL, AMC

BOOK: anything Shakesphere, or by Lori Wick

NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: fruit punch or apple juice

ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I do not drink

BAND OR GROUP OR SINGER OR RAPPER: Dashboard, Fighting the Fall, Backward Heros (brother's band), FM Static, or Krutch

h a v e y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: not recently, but I mostly likely have before in my life...in fact, when I was 4, I stole candy from the convenince store...they were inn open bins...I thought "yummy candy" COME ON, I WAS 4 YEARS OLD!!!! Don't judge me

RAN AWAY FROM HOME: not exactly, I like to get away from home...but that is not really running

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: in my younger days

EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: This one I can honestly say no too

MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yeah...it's part of growing up

? EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: no...wait...I watched a friend tip over a porta potty...But I never took part

USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: well not without their permission

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: of course...that is also part of growing up

FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: no...I do not want to drown

BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yep, serveral...The Trial of Goldilocks was my first (I was momma bear)and who can forget "I am not my freaking khakis", where I played Stella

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: many times, that is what my shoulders are there for, come on now

SEXUALITY: straight

CURRENT CRUSH: does Graham count? I think he should count, so yes, I have a crush on Graham

BEEN IN LOVE: yes

HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yes, but who doesn't

BEEN HURT: who hasn't? ( I agree Beth, everyone has to have been hurt sometime in their life, if they haven't then they are missing out on one of life's most important aspects)

YOUR GREATEST REGRET: not saying 'yes' to a certain someone the first time they asked me out

GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: I changed my mind...technically yes, I did "go out" with Kyle after one day of camp...it doesn't really count...but whatever, who really cares anyways

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yes...haven't I answered this already...I am working in the kitchen at Camp Hermosa...I feel like I am repeating myself here

YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: it is a mix CD of my favourite country songs from last summer

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? hot hot pink

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: my friends and hermosa, and life in general
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIESt: my friends and Graham, family and little white rabbits (that do not kill people)

WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET: which ever one catches my eye next...I would like to get Clay's CD but we shall see

WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS: there are a whole heck of a lot of them...but everyone I sent this to...can consider themselves on the list, and hey, if you sent it back to me...I will put you on twice

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t TIME YOU CRIED: cried for real? tonight actually, I like my mind go crazy, and it upset me quite a bit...so I cried...maybe I will say why one day

YOU GOT A REAL LETTER: a couple of days ago
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today...

THING YOU PURCHASED: I bought some candles for a shower present

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: One Life to Live (come on, my stories are great)seriously, the last time I watched tv was yesterday afternoon

MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: that is an excellent question..pretty sure it was the Passion

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n ABORTION: bad, very very bad...I don't care what you call it, it is still MURDER

TEENAGE SMOKING: if you want to put that crap into your body, then it's your choice, just don't do it near me, it will kill me

DREAMS: yeah, I have those, sometimes they are fun, sometimes they are not...but yeah

Favourite Songs of today

Hey all, Wow, I am really bad at this blogging thing, and to think it is only going to get worse, as I am leaving in just over a month to live at camp for the summer...what a time that will be...anyways, today I thought that I would give you my top 12 favourite songs, the lyrics to them, so you will all know what I am spouting on about. Anyways, here they are, in no particular order:

Song #1: I'm Sensitive
Jewel
(from: pieces of you)

I was thinking, that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things that you say
It doesn't take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen

So please be careful with me
I'm sensitive,
And I'd like to stay that way

You always tell me, that it's impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why's it gotta be so complicated
Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated

So please be careful with me
I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way

I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we'll give it to people who have faith

So please be careful with me
I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way

I have this theory, that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
Cause anyone can start a conflict
It's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels

Be careful with me, cause I'd like to stay that way

Song #2: Things I'll Never Say
Avril Lavigne
(from: Let Go)

I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it..yeah..

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say that I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you?
What's on my mind?

If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just show you that I care

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it,
You're worth it...yeah...

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

La da da da da (continued)

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

Song #3: She's not just a pretty face
Shania Twain
(from: UP)

She hosts a TV show, she rides the rodeo
She plays the bass in a band
She's an astronaut
a valet at the parking lot
A farmer working the land
She is a champion, she gets the gold
She's a ballerina, the star of the show

She's not just a pretty face
She's got everything it takes

She has a fashion line
A journalist for "Time"
Coaches a football team
She's a geologist, a romance novelist
She is the mother of three
She is a soldier, she is a wife
She is a surgeon, she'll save your life

She's not just a pretty face
She's got everything it takes
She's the mother of the human race
She's not just a pretty face

Oh, Oh, yeah
Oh, na, na, na, na
She is your waitress, she is your judge
She is your teacher
She is every woman in the world

Oh, la,la, la
She flies an airplane
She drives a subway train
At night she pumps gasoline
She's on the council, she's on the board
She's a politician, she praises the Lord

She's not just a pretty face
She's got everything it takes
She's the mother of the human race
She's not just a pretty face

Song #4: Princes and Frogs
Superchic(k)
(from: Last One Picked)

You hate me, that's what you say
And I understand why you feel that way
All girls dream of a fairy tale
But all you got's like a used car sales-
Man trying to conceal what's wrong
Behind a smile and a song
And I'm not saying that boys are not like that
But I think you should know
That some of us will grow
because...
All princes start as frogs
All gentlemen as dogs
Just wait till it's plain to see
what we're growing up to be
Cause some frogs will still be frogs
Some dogs will still be dogs
But some boys will become men
Just don't kiss us til then

Song #5: As Lovers Go
Dashboard COnfessional
(from: A Mark~A Mission~A Brand~A Scar)

She said, "I've gotta be honest,
You're wasting you're time if you're fishing around here"
I said, "You must be mistaken,
I'm not fooling, this feeling is real"
She said, "You gotta be crazy!
What do you take me for? Some easy mark?"

"No, you've got wits,
You've got looks,
You've got passion,
But I swear that you've got me all wrong."
I'll be true,
I'll be useful,
I'll be cavalier,
I'll be yours my dear,
I'll belong to you if you just let me through.

This is easy as lovers go
So don't complicate it, by hesitating
This is wonderful as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?

I said, "I've gotta be honest,
I've been waiting for you all my life."
For so long I thought I was asylum bound,
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you makes me sane
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.

"You got wits,
You've got looks,
You've got passion,
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?"

Song #6: Carry You To Jesus
Steven Curtis Chapman
(from: Declaration)

I will not pretend to know the pain you're going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you've known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don't know

Well, I'll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we're at the mercy of God's higher way
And our ways are so small

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

It's such a privilege for me to give this gift to you
All I'd ever hope you'd give me in return
Is to know that you'll be there to do the same for me
When the tables turn

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

And if you need to cry, go on and I will cry along with you
I'll give you what I have but still
I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you

I'll carry you
I'll take you to Jesus on my knees

Song #7: Hold Me Twice
FM Static
(from: What are you waiting for?)

I saw you in the hallway
I bet thats what they all say
You probably didn't even notice
I was the loser,
Who was staring at my shoes
I couldn't think of nothing to say
I'm on a runway
Of a flight that's going one way
On "Cross your fingers" airlines
I'm picking my pace
I'm getting nervous in the worst way
Here goes nothing,

I saw you walking over
Now you're moving closer
Wrote you a letter about a week ago
To my surprise, you replied and said:

You can hold me once, you can hold me twice
Even better if the stars are good tonight
You can hold me, be my one and only.
This is the reply to the letter you wrote me

You told me to meet you after gym class
But I forgot to get a hall pass
I got sent to the office
You tried to call me,
Asked everyone who saw me, they didn't even notice
You're on your way now
Moving with your parents to some hick town
A thousand miles away
I'm in the playground, with my memories
So much I could say now
I still remember when

I saw you walking over
You're slowly moving closer,
I wrote you a letter about a week ago
And to my surprise, you replied and said:

You can hold me once, you can hold me twice
Even better if the stars are good tonight
You can hold me, be my one and only
This is the reply to the letter you wrote me

It's been awhile since we said "hi"
three hundred sixty-five days have gone by now
And I could paint a picture of you
I see you everytime I pass your locket
Remember he time we talked till six am
And I'm tired of missing you

Song #8: Jefferson Aeroplane
Relient K
(from: 2 lefts don't make a right...but 3 do)

If it hurts, kiss it better
You wear skirts, I write nice letters
Never said nothing with flowers,
But we always talk for hours
And it seems to get much colder,
When you cry on your own shoulder
And we know the show must go on
Guess I know, I guess I'll throw on

Some Jefferson Aeroplane
I'm trapped and I am enclosed
But I won't complain,
I'll open all the windows
Cause when it's colder
I feel much better
When you cry on your own shoulder
Just throw on a sweater and go

And I'll go to undergo a change of heart, a chang of clothes
And when I'm home,
I guess I'll go eat cereal and stare out the window

I'll make the calls, you cover your ears
Niagra Falls still flows on New Years
I'll save your plunging neckline
Kiss your face, you try to deck mine
If I behave, it'ss gonna cost him
Skip the rave in Downtown Boston
And we know the show must go on
Guess I know, I guess I throw on...

CHORUS

And I'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood
And my ego, the staus quo, provides me with a decent attitude
And I'll go to undergo a change of heart a chang of clothes
And when I'm home, I think I'll go eat cereal and stare out the window

But you confuse me more than anyone
An adjustment has begun to let me feel
The desperate need to leave what we undid undone
And maybe you can sympathize
With the bags under my eyes
And we'll see the signs are saying
that we have used up all our tries
Try to be a better person
To be a better friend
To be a better son
He tries to be a better someone
Who understands the difference
And that he can't show all the people, all the things
That really mean as much as he could feel
Feels like I don't remember
Ever being this tired before
Before now my eyes were closed to all the beauty of this world

And I'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this loney mood
And my ego, the status quo provides me with a decent attitude
And I'll go to undergo a change of heart a change of clothes
And I'll go, oh yes I'll go
And hope this new me shows so everybody knows
That I've found myself able to fly away
Without magic feathers or Jefferson Aeroplanes
I've got with me all that I need

Song #9: Airport Road
Straight Edge (RIP)
(from: Shadows and Silhouettes)

It's the summer, and I'm far from home
And I'd write you or call you on the phone
And then I remember what it was like
When I was free, when I was free
But it's over, far from now
And you're far from, my heart
And your speed dial, is off my phone
Ans I can't remember, your number

Romances and tragedies,
The best of friends we'll never be
Yeah the truth is on m tongue
I wish you could understand
I wanted nothing more than a friend
But I guess I was wrong

So I'll carry on with my life
And I guess that I don't care
Again is this over? Are you done?
Yeah, you're with him,
But your friends are gone
I could believe that you're the one
But I could be wrong
And this melody that's in my heart
Is telling me to stay away

Romances and tragedies
The best of friends, we'll never be
Yeah, the truth is on my tongue
I wish you could understand
I wanted nothing more than a friend
But I guess I was wrong

I wanted nothing more

Song #10: What's Simple is True
Jewel
(from: Spirit)

Turn to me with frozen lips
Your hands are icy cold
Your eyes burn brightly against the frist bit sky
You never seemed more lovely than you do tonight

Plae on the horizon
Like leaves frozen in the snow
Our two shadows merge inseparatly
Will time stand still if it's pierced with cold

The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you

There's a warmth in my heart
It haunts me when you're gone
Mend me to your side and never let go
Say "Time knows nothing, we'll never grow cold"

The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you

Twilight descends upon our silhouette
How soon spring comes
How soon spring forgets
I wanna hold time, say it will never begin
Old man winter be our friend
Old man winter be our friend

Cause the more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you

Song #11: Hero
Superchic(k)
(from: Last One Picked)

No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It's not that you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he does home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
And a kindness from you might have saved his life
Heros are made when we make a choice

You could be a hero, heros do what is right
You could be a hero, you might save his life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on, is a day that she's brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage, her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made
Heros are made when we make a choice

CHORUS

No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
The brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
The choices he makes, change a nine-year-olds life
Heros are made when we make a choice

CHORUS

Final Song: Final Curtain Call
Straight Edge (RIP)
(from: Shadows and Silhouettes)

The van is packed, we're ready to go
It's six-o-clock and we're on the road
And I won't forget this time we'll have
Memories, they just fly by
Three years I wonder why?
And I don't want to forget

This is our final curtain call
I know that we'll miss you all
I can't believe this is over
I'm sorry it's over
We're all gone tomorrow

When the shows is over and the clean up comes
Keep this in your heart, where it's from
Let those tears drip of memories
The future is waiting to take our lives
Let's not rush this night
Let's just keep holding on

CHORUS

a little update on me....

Okay, I am seriously, like the worst blooger in the world...I have never been all that good at journaling...ask Graham...he knows what I am talking about...but I figured that it was time to catch you all up on the fun goings ons in my life at this present moment...

~My allergies are in full swing right now...the sneezing is driving me bananas...thats right, I said bananas

~My sister got married a couple weeks ago...but you all know that already...it was good.

~My sister and brother-in-law gave me a little tv...complete with bunny ears.

~My brother is currently moving out of his bedroom, so that the church can fix it, so that I can move into it...it is a tiny bit bigger than my current room...but not by much. I might be able to make it better by sticking my dresser into the huge walkin closet...but I am not really sure that this moment.

~I am leaving for camp in just over a month...I am working in the kitchen this year which does not have me overly thrilled but whatever, it is camp and it is money, so I will survive.

~I am graduating from Sheridan College in about 2 weeks...give or take 3...not quite sure on the right amount...but it is on June the 9th. We are having a party (well...my family is...) on the 5th of June...it is potluck...some of my friends will be invited...so if you hear from me either by phone or via email...that means you...please try to come...I love parties and people and this one is ALL ABOUT ME!

~My brother is going to the Dashboard Confessional Concert tonight and he isn't taking me...BOO

~My foot just fell asleep...seriously that was the weirdest feeling in the world

~My grandparents are home from Florida...they came home for the wedding...they might not come to my party

~Tomorrow I am going to Simcoe for my friend Amanda's wedding shower...why is it that everyone seems to be getting married lately...whose next? Anyone willing to place a bet on anyone...no...gambling is wrong

~So, my mom told me yesterday that I would be the perfect canadate for becoming addicted to gambling should I every try it...apparently this is because flashing lights facinated me as a child. Who knew

~My house is freezing cold...seriously...I need a parka

~I love Graham...but again, you all knew that, I just enjoy saying it because it is the truth I LOVE GRAHAM WARE!!!

~Jenelle's E-song of the day

Call Me
Cadet

I think about love, I think about life, I think about rock
I think about the times we used to hangout after school
I think about things, I think about you
I think about love, I think about life, I think about God
I think about the times we were loser acting cool
I think about you

You better call me, if you're going under
You better call me, before I lose another friend to misery

And if you're lonely, the we could T.P.
Just like we're thirteen
Throwing our worries ove rooftops and running off
And if ever you stumble, if ever you crumble
Just know I wont let you go

The end of an Era

First things first...what is with this new set up of blogger...that is really weird. Okay...moving on, Survivor is over, and here is my final summary for you all to enjoy:

Thirty-nine days, eighteen All-Stars, four tribes, dozens of broken alliances, two forfeitures, a budding romance and now, one Sole Survivor. Amber (austrailia), rode an alliance with her sweetheart in order to capture the million-dollar prize. In the gut-wrenching Final Tribal Council, Amber humbly admitted to the Jury that she got lucky and rode the alliance with Rob (Marquesas) to the end. Amber explained that she broke alliances to a lesser degree than Rob and therefore deserved to be Sole Survivor. The Jury agreed in a 4 to 3 decision, making Amber Brkich Sole Survivor and recipient of the one-million dollar prize. FINAL FOUR As night 36 took hold, the four remaining Chaboga Mogo tribe members took inventory of their situation. When Rupert (Pearl Island), went to pour out a bucket at the creek, Amber and Rob lobbied Jenna (Borneo), to vote off Rupert. "You have no chance to beat Rupert," Rob informed her. The surprised All-Stars were awakened by host Jeff Probst, who landed on their beach, gifts in hand: a breakfast spread of eggs, bacon, mimosas and pancakes. He also gave them a camera and scrapbook to collect the memories of their final days. The tribe shared in a grand toast of champagne and orange juice to making it to the coveted position of Final Four. "The four people that are in the Final Four are two distinct groups of two," assessed Rob, "There's no chance myself and Amber are going to break." As Amber and Jenna went to get water, they discussed Jenna's unique and difficult decision within the game. Jenna could vote for whoever doesn't win Immunity out of the Rob/Amber dyad with Rupert and cause a tie. In the event of a tie, the three All-Stars without Immunity would pick rocks out of a bag, with the castaway picking the purple rock being eliminated. Jenna's other choice would be to break her alliance and vote out Rupert, assuming he doesn't win Immunity, in order to go to the Final Three with Rob and Amber. "I didn't come thirty-seven days to reach into a bag and let a color decide my fate," Jenna declared, "So I'm taking fate into my own hands." As the four converged for an Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained that they would have to negotiate a maze loaded with obstacles. At the end of each corridor would be a rung to a ladder for each Survivor. The first All-Star to assemble all eight of their rungs, thereby constructing a ladder on a tower, would then get to climb it and claim Immunity. The Challenge started off in a flurry as the Final Four Chaboga Mogo tribemates hurried into the labyrinth with purpose. Amber collected her first rung as Jenna fell behind. It was a close competition as each castaway collected rung after rung. It was dead even at five rungs each when Boston Rob became confused in the maze and fell behind. Rupert and Amber both collected their crucial seventh rungs, while Jenna and Rob were now playing catch-up. With his final rung in hand, Rupert ran toward the tower just in time to see Amber emerge at the top of her newly constructed ladder to claim the essential victory. Amber Brkich would live to see another day! After Amber won the Immunity Challenge, Jenna was faced with the problem she had feared would arise: should she vote for Rupert and go to the Final Three or vote for Rob and let her fate come down to chance? Back at camp, Jenna informed Rupert that she could not write his name down and so was going to vote the game into a tie. "My fate comes down to a 26-year-old single momma who wants to win very badly," noted Rupert. After much painful deliberation, Jenna simply could not let a purple rock decide her fate, and she voted Rupert off. Saddened, but not surprised, as he heard the three to one vote being read, Rupert will became the sixth member of the Jury and will have a say about who will become Sole Survivor and claim the million-dollar prize. Shortly after leaving Tribal Council, Rupert revealed, "I am a little angry at Jenna. Greed won out over friendship... almost disgustingly." After an early-morning visit from Jeff Probst, the three remaining Chaboga Mogo members were given a map to follow. After landing on an island where they adorned their bodies with a local tribe's war paints and jewelry, the Final Three All-Stars set along the trek that would lead them to their final Immunity Challenge. Along the journey, the Survivors passed by each of their fallen castaways' torches and reminisced about the 38 days they had spent on the Pearl Islands and of those they had spent it with. As the remaining three gathered for what would be their final Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained they would battle in a test of endurance. The Survivors would have to balance themselves barefoot on a post, while holding onto to the Idol with one hand. Any All-Star who moved either foot off the post or touched the Idol with the free hand would lose. The last one standing would win Final Immunity. After an hour under the hot sun, the castaways were all in pain but holding strong. However, after two hours, Jenna Lewis inadvertently lifted her back foot off the post. With Jenna eliminated, Amber pleaded with Rob to let her win. Boston Rob, however, wanted to finish the Challenge fair and square. Fair and square it was, as Amber accidentally touched the Idol with her free hand to give Rob Mariano the coveted Final Immunity. Rob would also have the chance to choose who would join him in front of the Jury as the Final Two. Having been allied with Amber the entire time, Boston Rob made it clear he would be voting Jenna off at Tribal Council. That didn't stop Amber from being paranoid and a little scared. Rob even considered how the Jury would vote if he and Jenna were the Final Two. "I have seen him turn on people out here," confessed Amber, "I have seen him break his word. I just can't help but to feel nervous." Proving his alliance with Amber was strong, Rob Mariano kept his word and voted off Jenna Lewis. Jenna was not surprised at all and bravely stood as Jeff Probst extinguished her torch. Jenna became the final member of the Jury that will decide who earns both the title of Sole Survivor and the million-dollar prize. Shortly after the fateful decision, Jenna noted, "This time I am very proud of the way I played the game. I didn't get blindsided. I think I was more observant and more strategic. And I had a lot more fun; that's for sure." After spending a final night together, Rob and Amber prepared to meet the Jury the next day. They would each have to plead their case for why they should be the Sole Survivor and why they deserved the million-dollar prize. Despite competing with each other for the final slot, Rob and Amber enjoyed romantic moments, with the camp to themselves for the first time. "Over the first couple of days, there was a lot of flirting going on, and it turned into something real," remarked Amber, "Now we have an amazing bond." As the Final Two Chaboga Mogo tribe members sat down at Tribal Council, the Jury assembled to ask questions that would help them decide who would win the million dollars. As the emotional statements were made, many angrily alluding to Rob's deception and hurtful strategy, Rob stared blankly into the distance. As the questions rolled in and the answers rolled out, Rob defended his actions as part of the game. He also admitted that maybe he wasn't that proud of himself. Amber confessed that her position in the Final Two was partly due to luck and partly to riding Rob's coattails. After much deliberation, the Jury voted for Amber in a 4 to 3 decision and bestowed the title of All-Star Sole Survivor and the million-dollar prize.

Sad night for viewers

Well...last night was a sad night in TV Land...mainly because Friends came to an end after 10 years...and they have narrowed the Survivor lot down to the final four..which means that it too is coming to a close. Here is what happened last night.

With deception and paranoia growing with each passing day, SURVIVOR: ALL-STARS has been whittled down to the Final Four Chaboga Mogos. Feeling secure in his alliance with Rob and Amber, Tom (AFRICA), was shocked to hear his name read at Tribal Council. Big Tom had mistakenly thought Jenna (BORNEO), was the target of the alliance, which sent him home in a four-to-one vote. Shortly after seeing his torch extinguished, Big Tom rationalized, "Don't worry about me. If you can live with it, I can live with it. And I'm going to live with it happily ever after." As day 34 crept into the Chaboga Mogo camp, the five remaining castaways were feeling the weight of the journey. Niceties were no more. Silence ruled the camp, and the game was the only thing on every All-Star's mind. "Camp life is hard. And as it gets down to the last few days, it's getting harder everyday," explained Rupert (PEARL ISLANDS). After breaking away from the tribe, Jenna and Rupert discussed their alliance. Just as they were strategizing about possibly voting off Rob (MARQUESAS), Rob appeared out of nowhere, to the horror of the scheming tribemates. Paranoid, Rob then expressed his fear of mutiny to Amber (AUSTRAILIA). "I was under the assumption that the game would be easier in the end," mused Amber, "Because I knew we had our strategy set in the beginning and that we weren't really gonna have to worry about it too much in the end. But I was completely wrong." As the tribe convened for a Reward Challenge, they were delighted to see a brand new Chevy Colorado truck parked in the clearing. Host Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would give the castaways a second chance at some of the obstacles from Challenges past. The five All-Stars must first negotiate a long balance beam, and the last to cross it would be eliminated. The remaining four castaways must then do a military crawl to a slide puzzle; the last to finish the puzzle would be ousted. The three remaining must then stomp an item from a balance beam into a raised bucket three times; the last to do so would be eliminated. The final two must then compete by climbing a rope ladder to catch a flying fox. The first All-Star to jump off the flying fox and grab a waiting set of keys would win the Reward: the Chevy Colorado truck, which the winner would get to drive off immediately in order to enjoy a drive-in movie replete with refreshments. The competition started off with a close race over the balance beams, and Rupert fell off. The second round came down to the difficult slide puzzles, which Jenna just could not figure out in time. Tom had trouble figuring out the stomp competition and simply could not launch his item into the bucket three times. The Challenge came down to Amber versus Rob. In a close race, Boston Rob scaled the rope ladder just a nose quicker than Amber, which made all the difference. Excited, Rob swooshed down the flying fox then snapped up the keys to his new Chevy Colorado. Boston Rob was then offered the chance to invite another member of Chaboga Mogo to join him for the movie and he chose his sweetheart, Amber. After driving his new Chevy Colorado through the Panamanian jungle, Boston Rob was happy to arrive at the makeshift drive-in movie theater. His movie companion, Amber, was even happier when she was surprised with a Reward of her own: a brand new Chevy Malibu. The couple and their new cars then set in to watch a screening of "Lord of the Flies," a movie that serves as an inspiration and shares many of the same themes as SURVIVOR. "Time alone with Amber was unbelievable," smiled Rob, "For the first time, I didn't have to think about the game at all." After the couple returned to camp, they relayed the news of Amber's new car. It was obvious that the other members of Chaboga Mogo were jealous, more bitter than happy for Amber. "If there is a little SURVIVOR hex that keeps the car winners from winning the game, I would love that," Rupert admitted, "That would be my little justice." Feeling vulnerable after witnessing Rupert and Tom confer in private, Boston Rob tried to pit one against the other. Rob claimed that Big Tom was gunning for him, and he knew this because Rupert had told him so. Rob's lie worked, as Rupert and Big Tom had it out on the beach. "Did you or did you not tell me we needed to get Rob off?" Rupert repeatedly asked Big Tom. As the tribe reconvened for the Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained that this competition would be a word scramble. Each castaway must search amongst a jumble of letters for a list of former SURVIVOR tribe names. The 17 tribe names would intersect and share letters. Once all tribe names have been found, the intersecting letters would unscramble to form the winning word. The first Survivor to unscramble the winning word would win the crucial Immunity. The five remaining All-Stars worked diligently to unscramble the tribe names from SURVIVORS past, as Amber took the lead, with Boston Rob and Jenna not far behind. Big Tom and Rupert fell back. Amber held her lead and was first to reach seventeen words, but she had trouble unscrambling the final winning word. Shortly after getting his seventeenth word correct, Rob immediately guessed the winning word to be "Chaboga Mogo" to take Immunity right out from under Amber's nose. Boston Rob would be wearing the coveted necklace at that night's Tribal Council. As Tribal Council loomed near, the members of Chaboga Mogo were panicked, making sure their alliances were still intact. Sensing she was on the chopping block, Amber feared Big Tom would join Jenna and Rupert in order to vote her off. After pulling Big Tom aside, Rob and Amber pressured him into reassuring them that their alliance was still strong. "What you tell me, that's what I'm putting on that card," Tom promised Rob and Amber. In the end, Tom kept his promise to Amber and Rob by writing down the name he was told. However, Amber and Rob didn't keep their promise to Tom by writing down his name. Livid, Big Tom was shocked as he witnessed the four-to-one vote that expelled him from the Chaboga Mogo tribe. Tom became the fifth member of the Jury and will now have a hand in deciding who will win the million-dollar prize and earn the name Sole Survivor. And the lookhe gave the final surivors could kill someone...priceless right there

Weddings

Hi All,

I realize that I said I would start writing after the wedding, but seriously, I just got my bearings back this morning, so here I go. The wedding of my sister Jen to Rob Augustine was absolutely beautiful. I have yet to see a more radiant bride in my life. The love between the two of them is so real, and so pure that it just made me cry throughout the entire thing. The church was packed for the ceremony and the reception hall seemed even fuller (it wasn't really, just a smaller space) But several people showed up from the church and community to celebrate the vows between these two. The wedding party was made up of 14 people (bride and groom included) but it had Me as maid of honour, Judson Stade (Rob's best friend) as Best man. The bridesmaids were Jean Brown (Jen's BLEC roommate), Caitlin Lorimer Duerkson (Jen's friend), Cathy Margeson (Jen's friend) and April Augustine (Rob's little sister). The usher's were Michael Augustine (Rob's little brother), Ryan Rushton (Rob's friend), Jonathan West (My brother) and Nathan Augustine (Rob's littest brother) The flower girl was Andrea Augustine and the ring bearer was Matthew Price (both cousin's of Rob) I have included some pictures if you are so inclined to see them.
Jen and Rob wedding pictures part 1

I am also including as my e-songs of the day, the lyrics to the two solos that were sung during the ceremony, they were beautiful

God Bless the Broken Road
Geoff Moore (sung in ceremony by Amanda Sutherland)

I set out on a narrow way
Many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two
I wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign
Pointed straight to you

That every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent
Just passing through
I'd like to have them back again
And give them all to you
But you just smile
And take my hand
You've been there
And you understand
It's all of a grander plan
That is coming true

That every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I keep rolling on
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Can't Live a Day
Avalon (sung by Beth Walker Rushton)

I could live life alone
And never fill the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but

I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You

I could travel the world
See all the wonders beautiful and new
They'd only make me think of You
And I could have all life offers
Riches that were far beyond compare
To grant my every wish without a care
Oh, I could do anything, oh yes
But if You weren't in it all

I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You

Jesus, I live because You live
You're like the air I breathe
Oh Jesus, oh, I have because You give
You're everything to me

I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You