So the other day...

So, the other day, I was going through my CD collection and I came across a song that I did not remember ever listening to on one of my soundtracks, so I put it on and to my surprise, it was one of those songs that really just make you think of the person you love...you know the kind of song I am talking about? Here is the song, I dedicate it to Graham...

God Knew I needed you

I look at you and I see
The one that God chose for me
What did I do to deserve
All I have recieved?
We're like a hand in a glove
One heart made from two
God knew I needed you

You know my heart in a way
I'm known by no one else
And who you are
Gives me the strength beyond myself
Inspite of all you see
I know your love is true
God knew I needed you

When we face the darkest of night
I'll reach out for your hand
And I know your love will hold me tight
Until we see the sun again
For God has given me a taste
Of Heaven here on earth
Until this life is through
I belong to you

My heart will fail
And my weaknesses will be uncovered
But love will prevail
When we choose to turn to each other
And in the deepest valley
The Lord will see us through
He knew just what I needed
He knew I needed you

Top Reasons why I could never be a reality show contestant

1. I hate flying in airplanes

2. I am way to skittish...it's true, I don't take many risks in life.

3. I am not a fan of the wilderness...true, I go to camp Hermosa, but that is not camping, that is cabining...and have any of you seen my reaction to being outside at camp after dark?

4. I have a very weak stomach...having to eat cow brains, would not make me happy

5. I am very much family oriented...I can't go a week without communicating with my family, friends and loved ones.

6. I have issues following rules and directions

7. I am a fan of consistancy

8. I give up on things way too easily...I have no endurance

9. I do not like bugs and animals (wild ones)

10. I am allergic to almost everything...seriously all the food on Survivor would kill me

11. I am accident prone...I would be the one to fall in the fire

12. I can't swim

13. I bruise very easily

14. I hate confrontations

15. I am way way to nice

16. I am almost dependent on technology

17. I like to eat all the time

18. I am not a problem solver

19. Plus I am indecisive

20. I am not a model

21. I really have no desire to be on one

Dante's Inferno Test

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Random Thoughts about the trip

~I am home safely, after a little bit of nerves and one really hard landing, I made it back in one piece.

~Surprisingly, Beth did not have to force me onto the plane on the way there.

~We arrived and Graham was waiting for us at the airport, I was so relieved to see him, I'm pretty sure that every feeling I had showed on my face at that point.

~We recieved our rental car, it was a red Kia Spectra...with a CD player, we were happy. It was a great little car, except for when the spedometer stopped working, that was not cool. "Umm...I have a question? Why are we going zero?"

~We got to Lauren's and she was waiting by the door for us, we had a great reunion and then decided to go out for dinner. We went to East Side Marios...it was good food.

~After dinner, we all (Me, Beth, Graham and Lauren) went back to Lauren's house and watched a movie. We watched the Wal-Mart Baby Movie

~When the movie ended, Graham and me went out by ourselves. We went to Timmy's and then I got a little tour of Moncton. One of the best moments ever from the trip

~We went back to Lauren's after midnight and the girls were still up playing Jeopardy, so we joined in and we all ended up stay awake until 4 in the morning.

~The next day, we got a later start than we should have, but we took our first road trip down to Nova Scotia. We spent the afternoon in Halifax before heading off to Peggy's Cove. Which unfortunately we did not get there until after dark, so we really could not see anything.

~This means, I have still never seen the Atlantic Ocean.

~We drove back to Halifax and got a little lost looking for the Swiss Chalet in the business park. "Guy's I think I have seen that Wal-Mart before."

~The next morning, I got up early and walked over to Graham's house because the girls wanted to sleep in and I wanted to spend as much time with Graham as I could. We spent several hours together before Beth and Lauren showed up for what we called "Everything Moncton Day"

~We went out to ABU (Atlantic Baptist University) and got a tour of that, it is a very nice school, honestly, if I was considering continuing my education, I would go there.

~While there, we met up with Kyle Allen and we all went to McDonald's for lunch, before we returned Kyle to his dorm to do homework.

~From McDonald's, I forget the order we did things, but we went to Chapter's and the Crystal Palace (which is an indoor amusement park) Most things were closed because Rememberance day is a statutory holiday out east.

~We also went to Magnetic Hill and did that, it was really kind of cool...but weird at the same time.

~From there, we went back to Lauren's and Graham cooked us dinner, although I was not feeling well and only have two bites of my cappeletti...Graham made spagetthi...and I do not like it, so I ate my left overs...but then I was sick and had toast.

~After dinner, Graham and me went back to his apartment because we were being picked up for small group and bowling.

~Craig came to pick us up, it was really good to see him, I had missed him a whole lot.

~We went to Jeremy McWilliams (is that right?) house for small group (A Purpose Driven Life). When we broke up into male female groups, the girls spent the whole time asking me questions about me and Graham's relationship and my life back home. It was good times.

~After the group ended, we went bowling. I love bowling, although I always end up hurting my arm...but oh well, I still enjoyed it. It was good fun, and I laughed a lot, like when Craig started changing the names of people while they bowled. And I got to meet Debbie (Craig's girlfriend) she is really great, I could see us becoming really good friends.

~After bowling, Craig and Debbie, me and Graham went out for ice cream at McDonald's and stayed there until after midnight, then me and Graham got dropped off back at his house and we walked back to Lauren's.

~The next day, we got up extra early and started our trek out to PEI. Honestly, one of the top favourite moments from the trip. I love PEI. We got there just before lunch and spent some time in Charlottetown. We saw the Leuteniant Governor's house, which I want..and the six canons on the hill. We made fun of them and then got back in the car and drove around for a few minutes...seeing UPEI and some hospitals (always a good thing with me around)

~We headed up to Cavendish (the birthplace of Anne of Green Gables) and had to laugh at all the "Closed for the season" signs we saw...made me giggle.

~We were relieved that Green Gables was actually open, so we spent the 4 dollars to go in and see it, the house was basically what I remembered, but they added in a barn and woodshed. So those were really interesting. I wanted to go down some of the trails (like lover's lane and the haunted woods) but Lauren said no, so I backed off.

~We stopped in at the cemetery where Lucy Maud Montgomery was buried and took some pictures.

~We headed up the road to the famous Cavendish Beach, which was of course "Closed for the season" but we went in anyways, and it was really pretty, we took lots of pictures.

~From here, we drove down to West Point to see this lighthouse for Lauren, which was actually a hotel in the lighthouse, it was really pretty, although "Closed for the Season" I think it would be worth going back someday to stay in though...

~We then headed back to Summerside for dinner, and we ate in this cute little place called "Gentleman Jim's" and I hade the roast beef dinner, which was huge but I ate the whole thing, it was really yummy.

~We then headed back to the bridge, and back to New Brunswick. It was a long drive.

~The next day, Lauren decided not to come with us on "Fundy Day" but that is alright, Craig and Debbie came with us and we made a fun day of it.

~We drove through the mountains and by the way, it was really snowing and staying on the ground.

~We stopped in at Crooked Creek Lookout but we could not see anything due to the snow, but we tried anyways, Graham and Craig started a snow ball fight.

~From here, we went down to Alma to buy Lobster and eat sticky buns, but the place was closed, so we had lunch. and drove up to the Bay of Fundy, and I got to see it and taste it, I also got to see the tide go out. That was fun, Graham continued to thrown snow balls at Craig.

~On the way back to Moncton, we stopped at the Hopewell Rocks, they are famous, and very pretty...they are what happens to the rocks when the tide comes in and out. We took lots of pictures here.

~Then it was 'date night' which means that me and Graham had dinner together and Beth went out with Kyle.

~Graham cooked me a very nice dinner and then we spent the rest of the evening hanging out and talking because it was snowing too hard to go anywhere. But we did head outdoors at one point and built a huge snowman named Charlie. He is taller than Graham!!

~But then it was time to take me back to Lauren's. It was a sad time for me, because I was going home the next day. :*-(

~The next morning, Beth and me had to shovel the driveway in our church clothes. Not the most fun experience every!

~We went to church with Graham at Highfield United Baptist Church. It was a really good service, I like that church a lot, if I lived out there, I would probably go there as well.

~After church we went to Swiss Chalet for lunch, it was a lady from the church's birthday, so we went to celebrate with her. Her name is Dora...and the cutest little lady every!

~Then it was time to go to the airport. I cried, I really did. Saying "see you soon" or "good bye" hurts a lot. But I am going to make myself cry if I continue...so yeah...

~On Monday I started my new job...I really like it there. But it did not take long at all to get the flu. Yep, I got the flu Wednesday night and it is now Friday and I am still at home...I am moving a little bit more, but not leaving the house by any stretch of the means.

~That was my trip. I plan to do it again...maybe in the summer though. I was also thinking that if we do it in the summer, we can tent camp, and not have to drive as much in the days...just a thought.

Thought of the day...

Okay, so it hit me today, that people in this world use the phrase "life or death" very often. That these people are forever getting themselves into situations that they would deem in the category of "life or death." But as I pondered this phrase, it struck me...that the opposite of death is not life at all. The opposite of death is birth. So, what is the opposite of life?

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Way back in June, if anyone can even remember that far, I had a party to celebrate my graduation from Sheridan College...a good time was had by all, and one of my dearest and closest friends gave me a book, and honestly, I fell in love with this book, and ended up reading it to my Sunday School class one Sunday and they told me that it holds a message that the whole world should hear...now, I can't reach the whole world from where I sit right now, except through the internet, so I am posting the book here...or at least parts of it anyways....

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Dr. Suess

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
You'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't.
Because sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right and three quarters? Or maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, towards a most useless place.
THE WAITING PLACE...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring or the snow to snow
or waiting for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting...
NO!
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright place
where Boom Bands are playing
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with a ball
will make you the winningest winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on T.V.
Except when they don't.
Because sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed,)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Let's look at the Bigger Picture shall we?

On an average day in Canada,

~500 million cups of coffee are consumed
~School kids ride 12,720,000 miles on school buses
~10,205 people give blood
~$54,794 is spent trying to fight dandruff
~10,000 people take their first airplane flight
~205 animals are buried in pet cemeteries
~3 million people go to the movies
~9,077 babies are born
~4,109 people jump out of an airplane
~679 million phone calls are made (50 million are long distance)
~5,962 couples get married
~Each one of us produces nearly 6 pounds of garbage
~1,169,863 people take a taxi
~$10 million is spent on advertising
~5,041 people reach the age of 65
~Motorists pay $4,036,000 in tolls
~10 doctors are disciplined by medical boards
~88 million watch prime time American TV
~63,288 cars crash
~Industries generates nearly one pound of hazardous waste for every Canadian
~1.1 million patients are admitted to the hospital
~180,000 people buy new CD players
~28 mail carriers are bitten by dogs
~2,466 children are also bitten by dogs
~41 million people go to school
~19,178,000 snapshots are taken by amateurs
~240 patents are issued
~38,690 go to hear a symphony orchestra
~21,000 gallons of oil are spilled from tankers and barges

So what? That's trivia, right? Dull stuff that nobody really cares about, am I right? Well, think of it this way. When you multiply all those things by 365, you will get a general idea that there is a fair amount of energy, money, activity and trauma going on in just a year's time. And that is just in Canada---representing only a portion of the world's population. We may not be a big country, but we are very busy. In fact, we are so busy that it is easy to get selfishly swept up in the whirlwind of our own little playground sandwiched between the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans...blessed beyond measure and rich beyond comparison.

Every so often it is helpful for me to stop the annual merry-go-round, get off and look objectively, and to think clearly. It is not only helpful for me, it is essential for all the Christians. In this circus-like Canadian lifestyle of ours, we tend to be deafened by the blare of our own band and blinded by the lights of our own spots, shining, always shining, on the ring of our own choice.

That needs to change. We need to hear the voice of the Ringmaster as He raises His hand to stop the band:

We interrupt this program to bring all of you a reminder that the world in which you live is not the whole world...but only a very small part of the world for which I died."

The Great Commission is still "the Great Commission," not "The Limited Agreement for My Corner of Canada." He still looks out across a wide world and weeps over men and women and children who do not know, have not heard of His healing, life-giving Name.

Can you feel His pain?

What can we do to reach farther, see wider, feel deeper? What could help us kindle a greater understanding, prespective, and compassion for this vast hurting world of ours?

~Taking a missionary out for coffee?
~Reading, really absorbing, a good missions magazine?
~Writing a letter to some battle-weary solider in the trenches of a distant land?
~Making friend with the lonely international student in our schools?

Sound risky? Maybe. But I've got a hunch that when the score is added up one day as we stand before our Lord, many of us would wish we had played more Risk and a lot less Trivial Pursuit.

What if nobody believed in you?

I watched him take the two strike call
He hadn't tried to swing at all
I guess he had all he could take
He walked away for goodness sake
His father’s voice was loud and mean
You won’t amount to anything.

That little boy quit trying
He just walked away
There were tear drops on his face
Tell me how would you feel
You'd probably give up too
If nobody believed in you.

That old man said, ''One more try.
''I know I’m not too old to drive
I promise son, I'll do my best
This time I'm gonna pass the test
Give me the keys, dad and get in
His father never drove again.

That old man quit trying
He just turned away
There were tear drops on his face
Tell me how would you feel
You’d probably give up too
If nobody believed in you.

We take his name out of schools
The lawyers say it breaks the rules
Pledge of allegiance can not be read
And "Under God" should not be said
I wonder how much he will take
I just pray it's not too late.

What if God quit trying
He just turned away
There were tear drops on his face
Tell me how would you feel
You'd probably give up too
If nobody believed in you.

Tell me how would you feel
You'd probably give up too
If nobody believed in you...

Update

Been a while since I last wrote, so here is an update on the things around me. Ready and Go

~Survivor: First Lisa and then John voted out...and oh yeah, stuff happened on the show

~I started my job...well sort of, I worked 4 hours both Thursday and Friday and I think I might just love it there, which is a very good thing.

~I am never going back to Camp Hermosa again...I know, I know...how could I of all people say that, but the choice has been made to hire Kathy back for another summer because she was "judged unfairly" and I for one will not be a part of that, seeing as she told me that I was emotionally unstable.

~I leave for New Brunswick in 7 days and counting, I am very excited, this is quite the adventure I am taking on...scared of the flying though...but oh well...lives goes on and I will get to spend some time with Beth and see Graham in the process as well, life is good.

~I've decided that I am the worst friend in the whole wide world...I barely talk to my girls anymore, so I publically apologize to April, Amy and Emily for my neglect...I promise that I will get better.

~So, my doctor asked me the other day when this summer I was getting married...apparently I missed that memo...anyone care to fill me in on that one?

~We had a youth rally at our church, it went really well...we had only 30 kids at the rally...but for anyone who has actually come to our rally...30 is pretty darn good.

~After the rally we had a concert, which went really well, the girls in the youth group fell in love with One Way Out, but you know, they are young, they fall in and out so quickly.

~Then the horrors of all horrors, we had a sleepover afterwards, there were 19 kids sleeping over and I honestly wanted to throw them all out the window...I even threatened one of them that I would do it to...and they said they would tell their mom, but I pointed out that their mother would have stood by and applauded and then maybe thrown money at me for doing it, this child agreed.

~I started to paint the mural on the wall of my church nursery...one of the sheep now look like baby poop...but that was not my fault in the long run...I hope to have pictures to put up soon.

~My cousin might be getting a divorce...but what is new with my extended family...we have the long standing record of 9 divorces in just the aunts and uncles alone...nice eh? Especially when there are only 4 of them to divide it through.

~My grandparents have arrived safely in Florida....and found that they have a lot of clean up to do from the...what was it 4 hurricanes to hit?

~My foot just fell asleep

~New favourite movie of all time: Casablanca...and I change who will play me in the story of my life...Ingrid Bergman

The End

Oops

P.S Happy Birthday Matt!

Congrats!

My congrats go out to my wonderful boyfriend Graham on being voted "Off Campus Rep" at ABU. I knew that you could do it and I am so very proud of you. Good luck with the tasks for this year. Cause a disturbance, please. I look forward to our future political careers in the process of taking over the world. It is now in our grasps. I love you so much!!

The New Kid on the Block

Well, after how many weeks of being unemployed and searching desperatly for a job doing anything anywhere. I finally got a job. You are all talking to the newest preschool teacher in Mississauga! I got called this morning by the supervisor of Active Kids Day Care and was offered a full time position with them as the head teacher in their new preschool room. I have never been so excited in my life! Maybe that is an exageration, but I am really happy right now. The best part is that I do not have to start until the 15th of November which just so happens to be the day after I return from my trip. How great is that?

P.S I really suck at this blogging thing right now and I apologize. This is a really busy weekend for me right now, so the Survivor update will be readable on Monday or Tuesday. I am deeply sorry for the delay

The ground is shaking

After a tribal reshuffling sent two men to Yasur, that tribe moved one castaway closer to reverting to an all-woman crew when they voted out new member Travis Sampson. Just before the Immunity Challenge began, Travis attempted to communicate secretly with a former tribemate. His new comrades at Yasur saw this as an act of disloyalty and swiftly sent him packing in an almost unanimous decision. Shortly after that fateful decision, Travis warned, "Don't let nobody fool you. It's as tough as you see on TV."

After yet another cold night, the men of Lopevi immediately awoke to conflict over who gets to sleep by the fire. Happy with his pole-position of heat, Travis refused to consider a rotating sleeping situation that would give all Lopevi members a chance to sleep in the prime position. As Chad Crittenden explained, "Some positions are more desirable than others. Bubba just would not give up his prime spot."

The women of Yasur and the men of Lopevi were all surprised to spot indigenous Vanuatu tribesmen approach their shore. Upon reaching the camp, the Vanuatu warriors demanded that each tribe choose a chief. Lopevi chose Lea "Sarge" Masters, while Yasur chose Scout Cloud Lee. "We kinda have a feeling that the tribes are going to get mixed up in some way," predicted Leann Slaby.

As they speculated about the mysterious roles of their chiefs, both tribes were surprised by a furious earthly rumble. It was a Vanuatu earthquake, which sent the birds into a frenzy and awoke the island volcano. Realizing the power of the Vanuatu land, the castaways were unnerved. "I could do without that," said Leann, putting it mildly.

As the castaways convened for the Reward Challenge, host Jeff Probst announced a tribal reshuffling. The two chosen chiefs, Sarge and Scout, would now be leaders of the new tribes. Scout was to assign the Survivors to each tribe, and Sarge would get to choose which tribe he would lead.

After Scout's selections were completed, the new Yasur retained its old roster with the additions of Rory and Travis, minus Julie and Twila. After the shuffle, the new Lopevi roster was Chad, Chris, John K, Julie and Twila, with Sarge as leader; the new Yasur lineup was Ami, Eliza, Leann, Lisa, Rory and Travis, with Scout at the helm.

As the new tribes readied for the Reward Challenge, Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would be a relay-style race down into the deep water of Vanuatu. Pulling themselves along a rope line one at a time, the castaways would retrieve markers placed at two-foot increments. The tribe retrieving the most markers in the time allotted would win the Reward: a daytime excursion to the picturesque waterfalls of Vanuatu, with all the Pringles they can eat, washed down with all the beer they can drink.

The Challenge started off with a splash as the Survivors dove into the ocean in search of markers. Lopevi suffered a major blow when Chris Daugherty, dropped his marker and watched it descend to the bottom of the ocean. Stalemated and with time running out, Chris submerged himself for Lopevi while Ami Cusack, dove under for Yasur. Ami could not make it that deep and emerged empty-handed. Chris redeemed his previous mistake as he rose from the depths of the Vanuatu waters holding the crucial marker that sealed the Reward for his new Lopevi tribe.

Against the spectacular backdrop of Vanuatu's waterfalls, the new Lopevi tribe bonded over all the beer and Pringles they could consume. New Lopevi members Julie Berry, and Twila Tanner, immediately tried to bond with their tribemates. "Two women, the rest of them men. Are they gonna try to pick us off? I don't know," admitted Julie. "So, me and Twila tried to weasel our way in there pretty tight."

Meanwhile, at Yasur, the women greeted Rory and Travis with open arms, offering the new arrivals coconut milk, sweet sugar cane and comfortable beds. Dissention quickly arose when Ami second-guessed her tribe's hospitality. "I don't think it's so important to show them all of our secrets," she noted. "We're definitely still five women strong, and they need to prove themselves, or else they're out of here."

When the tribes assembled for the Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained that this would be another relay race, this time through the jungle and out into the water. The castaways must race into the jungle to gather outrigger canoe parts and paddles. Once all the pieces are gathered, each tribe must assemble their canoe, then paddle out to retrieve their flag. The first tribe to bring their flag back to the beach wins.

As Jeff Probst explained the Challenge, Travis tried to communicate something to Chad, now on the opposing tribe. This exchange attempt was not lost on Ami, who had been watching her new tribemates.

The battle got off to a franetic start as Julie and Chad emerged from the brush with the paddles, giving Lopevi the early lead. Yasur fell even farther behind when Rory had trouble untying the knots to release their paddle. Enjoying a big lead, Lopevi assembled their canoe and took to the water. Paddling fiercely, Chad and John Kenney, had trouble steering the Lopevi canoe, which allowed Yasur a chance to get back into the game albeit they had the worst paddling technique I have ever seen...and I have seen quite a bit of canoing in my lifetime (my dad used to take us all the time, I loved it). However, it was too little, too late for Yasur, as the Lopevi tribe members righted their craft, captured their flag and carried it onto shore to secure the victory and the coveted Immunity.

Returning to camp after their crushing defeat, Yasur considered which tribemate they should send packing. As the newest members and the only men in the tribe, Travis and Rory knew they were on the chopping block. However, Eliza Orlins, argued that without the men, Yasur's ability to compete in Challenges could be compromised.

Despite Eliza's arguments, it was clear that Travis' new tribemates saw his attempt to communicate with Chad as treachery. "People will get themselves kicked out,"

Ami noted. "You don't have to kick them out. They'll get themselves kicked out." In the end, Travis did get himself kicked out. His brief stay at Yasur ended with a six-to-one decision that sent him home. Travis became the sixth Survivor to be voted off SURVIVOR: VANUATU.

26 Days to Go

Okay Okay, enough with the blackmail to get back to the whole writing a blog thing. I realize that it has almost been a week since I last posted an entry...but in that space of time, I have been at the computer all of 5 times, and each of those times for like 2 seconds each. I have been to Toronto, to Peterborough, to Kitchener, to babysitting the child from hell...to being sick, to being tired, to being to apthetic to even move. But I am here now...letting you all know that in 26 days, give or take a few more, Beth and Me are jumping on a plane and flying out east. It should be a great time, and I can not wait to see Graham, I never realized just how much I loved him until he left, and now I miss him like crazy! So yay for a trip to see him...(Graham...you better realize how much I love you now...seeing as I am doing the thing that I am scared of the most just to see you!) Okay, moving now...actually, I am exhausted after trailing an 8 year old ADHD boy for the last day and a half...and I have to do it all day tomorrow too....so I am going to bed...I will maybe write more some other time.

And then they were weak

The only place where being healthy and young may be a liability is the Lopevi camp, where the alliance of elders continues to cut down the youthful and strong. The victim this time was Brady Finta, who, like the others before him, failed to put a dent in the five-man alliance formed at the very beginning of SURVIVOR: VANUATU. After seeing his torch snuffed, Brady spoke as though he were a member of the pact of elders in his Final Words: "Brady is one of those guys where, if he makes it to the merge, he's going to kick my ass."
Returning from a Tribal Council in which Lisa Keiffer, broke her alliance in order to vote out Mia Galeotalanza, tensions were high and trust was low at the Yasur camp. After fielding a verbal assault from the alliance of young women, Lisa defended her vote by pointing out the previous dishonesty perpetrated by Eliza Orlins. "I did what I did. I'm not going to argue with you. I told you I didn't trust you!" Lisa forcefully explained to Eliza.
The day after Tribal Council, the alliance of Lopevi elders were feeling good as the five older men had so far succeeded in systematically voting off the younger members. Strong, on the chopping block and hoping to turn the tide, Brady tried to make himself invaluable to the tribe by positioning himself as Lopevi's provider of fish. Using a Hawaiian sling won at a previous Challenge, Brady could only bring home the smallest of catches. "Hopefully, we'll figure out a way to shake up camp and change the dynamics of what's going on right now, because something's gotta happen," Brady observed.
When the tribes convened for the Reward Challenge, host Jeff Probst explained that this would be a test of memory skills. Pairs of tam tams, shells, pig tusks, fish traps and other Vanuatu cultural items were hidden under an array of woven baskets. The Survivors must take turns finding matching pairs in the field of baskets. The first tribe to find five pairs wins the services of an authentic Vanuatu tribesman named Dah. For 24 hours following the Challenge, Dah would teach the winning tribe everything they need to know about survival in Vanuatu, including the nuances of fishing, hunting and shelter.
Yasur quickly jumped to a wide lead, thanks to the sharp memories of Ami Cusack, Leann Slaby, Julie Berry, and Eliza. Lopevi marched back into the competition when Lea "Sarge" Masters, matched the pig jaws, and Chad Crittenden, matched the coconuts.
But victory was not meant for the men of Lopevi. Lisa uncovered the second nautilus shell to make the final pair, which won Yasur the reward of Vanuatu tutelage under Dah, the island expert.
When Yasur lined up on the beach to welcome Dah, the local specialist wasted no time with pleasantries launched into the lessons. Dah immediately taught the women of Yasur how to retrieve coconuts for milk, then showed them roots, nuts and sugarcane. The crash course on Vanuatu survival was sure to aid the Yasur tribemates for the rest of their stay. "I definitely feel more confident that I could find food by myself, that I could cook it by myself," exclaimed Ami. "I think he really boosted team moral. That's huge."
Morale was low at Lopevi as Travis Sampson, became achingly homesick. To add to their problems, the feud between alliance members Rory Freeman, and Sarge intensified. Travis observed, "Right now, we just need harmony in the team. And today, that definitely wasn't happening."
After a tearful goodbye to Dah, the refreshed Yasur tribe made their way to the Immunity Challenge, reconvening with the depleted Lopevi. Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge involved mental agility. The tribes must race to match a series of large colored tiles according to the symbol painted on each. With each tribe designating a member to be the "eyes" from a perch, they must arrange the tiles in a grid so that no repeated colors or symbols would be in the same row or column. The first tribe to decipher this brainteaser would win Immunity.
Yasur chose Eliza to be their eyes; Lopevi chose Rory. The competition got off to a chaotic start for Lopevi because the members weren't acting in accord with each other or listening to Rory. Yasur, on the other hand, listened to Eliza and worked as a team to figure out how crack the puzzle. Ultimately, the suggestion from Scout Cloud Lee, held the key to the puzzle, handing the women of Yasur the crucial victory.
With the task of sending someone home looming, the men of Lopevi returned to camp a tribe divided. Knowing they were on the chopping block, Brady and John Kenney, voiced their concern that the alliance of tribal elders was making a big mistake by voting off the stronger members because without the skills and strength of youth, Lopevi was sure to lose Challenge after Challenge. Meanwhile, the pact of five knew that it was crucial to hold strong to their plan and not waver. "Man, I hope the five of us really are together, because if not, I'm dead right now," worried Rory.
Rory's fears proved to be unfounded as the men of Lopevi ousted Brady, in a landslide six-to-one decision. Brady became the fifth Survivor to be voted off SURVIVOR: VANUATU.

Dating for Dummies

So, I am sitting at home on an idle Thursday and I recieve an email from one of the leaders of my church (whose child just so happens to be in my Sunday School Class) and this leader from the church asked me to do a series in the class on "Dating for Christians" This came as a shock to me, because I for one do not consider myself an expert in this field...I am more an amature than anything else...because honestly, even ask Graham, I have done things sometimes that could have been considered as sabotaging the relationship, just stupid things really. Luckily for me, Graham loves me enough to look past these things because obviously we are still together. Anyways, back to my class...I honestly have no idea what I have to offer these children...all I really know is mostly from past relationships, remember Dave, Kyle, Ryan...etc....so I know some negative things like: how to avoid being kissed, how to deal with being stood up, and things not to give as gifts...this could be a test of my strength...I looked at the book "Every Young Girls Battle" and that could have been helpful, except for the 3 males in the class, who probably would not appreciate that...okay...so not sure what to do at this point. Hmmm...I will have to work on this. But until then, I can give you some useful information...how about, some good ideas of gift and some not so good ideas for gifts...Christmas and Birthdays are coming, and I have included some things that will work for the girl/guy who has everything...or doesn't know what they want...
(The italics are what NOT to get them, seriously)

Jenelle's A-Z list of good gifts:

A-

Affirmation- Giving this gift at every opportunity will change someone's life

Almonds- Okay this one would kill me, but some people like them

acne cream

B-

Belief- Let this person know that you believe in them

Box of Diamonds---who doesn't want this?

bedpan, broken seashell

C-

Carriage Ride- any romance inspired girl would love a carriage ride with their special guy. It may be difficult to arrange, but well worth it I assure you

Compliments- Take the time to notice the good in this person

cemetery plot, Christmas ornament (in July?), clothing 3 sizes too large

D-

Dessert- Prepare the person's favourite, a good way to the heart

Diamonds- yes again, they are a girls best friend

dead animals, plants, deodorant insoles

E-

Everything- This gift is perfect for the hard-to-shop-for

Exotic Pet- a small fish, a gerbil or a leopard...you pick

Extra Time- spending more time than usual with this person...

egg timer, eight track tape, exercise book, expired cottage cheese, exposed film

F-

Flower Shop- By buying the entire store for them, they will never run out

Frame a Favourite- Take a picture of the two of you, and frame it for them


G-

Glass Blowing Lessons- Expect to recieve several glass objects in the future

Gloves- could be any sort-winter, baseball, fancy, welding

H-
Hippopotamus- why not, everyone should have one, but to save you the trouble, have it gift wrapped at the store

Historical Relic- I was desperate for more "H" things...so try an old coin, well aged book

Hug- If you could package these, you would be a millionaire...give one everyday

home-made sand candle

I-

Inscription- Inscribe something meaningful on something special

Island- buy a deserted tropical island or rent one for the day...if cost is a facr, keep it small

J-

Journal- who doesn't want one of these? They can keep photos, quotes, letters...anything in it

Jokes- With the right timing, jokes can make anyone laugh

Jungle- If you could not afford the island, a jungle is less expensive

K-

Knapsack- prepare a knapsack full of picnic things...it's romantic

King- (for females giving gifts to males only) Treat them like a king for the day

Kentucky Bluegrass- buy as much as you can afford...if wealthy but Kentucky state

L-

Letterhead Stationary- Design and print a set of personal letterhead for this person

Library- Buy them a library, name it after them

last year's calender, lint brush, lunch with a newly divorced friend

M-

Marquee- rent a theatre or restaurant marquee (sign thing) and display a personal messge

Mint- not the breath type- the coin type

N-

Nonverbal Communication- Smiles, hugs, kisses are great. Take advantage of this easy-to-use silent gift.

Nourishment- Make them food, who does not like to eat, make their favourite

Nutmeg Farm- perfect for Christmas for individuals NOT allergic to nut products.

O-

Oneself- stick yourself in a box and send yourself to this person. Poke air holes in the box so that you are infact alive when you arrive, and label the box "LIVE PLANT, OPEN IMMEDIATELY"

Oyster Bed- ideal for the pearl lovers, hire divers

P-

Parking Lot- make sure it is conveniently located, hire a valet

Party- throw a party, the crazier the theme the better

Patience- dreaded word, I know...but it is a good thing

Q-

Quadriga- my dad helped me come up with this one, it is a Roman chariot drawn by 4 horses. This gift may be hard to fit in the living room.

Queen- (for males giving gift to females) Treat her like a queen for the day

Quotation- Find a quote that they like, write it in calligraphy and frame it

R-

Relaxation- Christmas/birthday can be a stressful time, let this person know that you want to just send a relaxing evening alone together.

Reunion- Plan a special reunion between this person and someone they have not seen in a long time.

S-

Sacrafice- Go out of your way to do everything this person has every dreamed of.

Stadium- This is a practical gift for the avid sports fan. For an added touch, purchase the home team.

Stamps- Ideal for the long distance, send this person a "school term" supply of stamps

T-

Tandem Bicycle- Buy, rent or borrow this two seater bike and take them for a ride

Thankfulness- make a list of all you are thankful about this person.

Traffic Light- Purchase a traffic light in your city and make sure it is always green, just for them.

U-

Umbrella- Do not buy just any umbrella, rather one with a radio in the handle or that turns into a life boat in case of flooding

Uplifting- Make a list of things this person enjoys doing, refer to it often

V-

Vacation- Take your special someone on a long vacation

Valentines- Why wait for February, send them cards and gifts all year, stock up on after day sales

W-

Wild Berries- they are yummy

Woods- it could go well with their jungle and island.

X-

X- giving a kiss is easy, inexpensive and delightful, but make it a good one.

Xebec- this 3-masted Mediterranean sailing vessel makes a unique gift.

Xerox- make 10 copies of your face and mail, hide, post and hand them to this person, so your face will not be forgotten

Y-

Yankees- why not, they are the super team after all

Yolks- make them breakfast in bed

Z-

Zany- allow them to be as crazy as they want to be

Zeppelin- this rare gift is a romantic way to fly, especially if you are not in a hurry

Zodiac- Rent one of these exciting inflatible boats and take them around a lake or harbour. Bring a pump and patch kit, Do not wear golf shoes.

"It's not junk!"

Okay, over the past few weeks, I have been told several times by several people that I have way too much stuff and would be what most consider "a pack rat" But honestly, everything that I have kept over the years has a story behind it and no less than 2 memories attached per thing. For example, I have kept every letter/gift that Graham has ever sent me since we became friends...and not to use as blackmail as a certain someone seems to believe. I kept them all so that I can look back and remember what we were feeling and when, and so that one day (not anytime soon, don't worry) I will be able to show my children the progression of the relationship between their father and me. The other thing that people have told me is that I have way too many stuffed animals, but again, each and every one of them was given to me by someone special and I wanted to remember those people for the kindness they showed me. So, I may be a pack rat, I know I keep a lot of stuff, but it is all really special.

However, as much as I treasure memories, there are certain things that over the years I have chosen to rid myself of, mainly because they were given to me by people that I no longer wish to have any contact with. But I found that when I got rid of one thing, my mother yelled at me that I should have kept it, but honestly, I think I was right in the disposal of it...and it is not like I just threw the thing in the garbage, I would never do that, I just stuck it in the mail and returned it to sender...was I wrong in that? I don't think so.

They gave Girls a bad name

On a night when both tribes were forced to trek to Tribal Council, the reigning alliance of the Lopevi tribe stuck to their plan. Despite his attempts to separate the pact by emphasizing the personal rift between Rory and Sarge, John Palyok, became the next victim of the Lopevi elders alliance by way of a five-to-three vote. J.P. disagreed with his tribe's decision, musing, "There was no way that I think I was outweighed, outlasted…outplayed."

After Ami Cusack, received Immunity from John Kenney, in a purely political move, the Yasur tribe was to send yet another castaway home. Under the pretext of emotional harmony for the tribe, Lisa Keiffer, crossed over Yasur alliances in order to vote out Mia Galeotalanza, in a stunning five-to-three decision.

Shortly after leaving Tribal Council, Mia shot some parting words at her rival: "Twila, you have been extremely deceiving with all the girls. I thought you were absolutely horrendous to me. Hopefully, you'll get voted off next."

As day seven of SURVIVOR: VANUATU crept in, both tribes had to contend with clashes amongst their members. With their alliance of older men seemingly secure, the Lopevi tribe awoke to work on their shelter. To the delight of the younger Lopevi members, personalities clashed within the ranks of the elder alliance when Lea "Sarge" Masters, questioned the work ethic of Lopevi lone wolf Rory Freeman. "He doesn't do a lot of physical work," Sarge complained. "He's not a team player. He's an individualist, but in a team you can't be your own man all the time."

The same day started with a bang at Yasur when Mia exploded at Twila Tanner, for what she had said at the previous night's Tribal Council. Mia's furious tirade centered around Twila's alleged disrespect to her and the other younger Yasur tribemates. "I can't stand Twila," Mia said. "I want her out."

While fetching Tree Mail for their tribe, Yasur's younger alliance had a chance to discuss their last Tribal Council. With the tribe separated into two alliances of four women each, it was crucial that they were all on the same page. The younger alliance, comprising Mia, Lisa, Eliza Orlins, Julie Berry, was concerned that Eliza had changed her vote without telling her comrades. But it wasn't necessarily Eliza that the young women of this alliance should have been concerned with. "I've got a back-up plan," confessed Lisa, "so we'll see what happens."

As the tribes convened for the Challenge, host Jeff Probst shocked the Survivors by explaining that there would be two Tribal Councils, and each tribe must vote someone off. This was where good old Eliza made her almost convincing (cough cough) "NO!" to which I could not help but shake my head and laugh, typical of a girl to try to convince the host of a reality show to change his mind about something by being as pathetic as possible! They give girls like that a bad name! Anyways, the winning tribe would not only receive a Reward, but would also be able to participate in an Individual Challenge. The winner would receive Immunity, the opportunity to visit the other tribe's camp, and the ability to give Immunity to a member of the other tribe at their Tribal Council.

Jeff then explained that the Challenge would require the tribes to work together to make their way through three locked cages by untying planks, using grappling hooks to retrieve keys and mastering a series of interlocking slide rails. The first tribe to crawl through the three cages to safety would win a Reward of fishing gear as well as a chance for Individual Immunity.

The Challenge started in a flurry as both tribes worked diligently to untie the various knots on the first wall. Lopevi took the lead, making quick work of the knots, but they encountered a problem when they lost one of their grappling hooks, which allowed Yasur to make up ground. But Lopevi quickly broke the tie as Yasur had trouble obtaining the last key. With Sarge barking orders, the men of Lopevi secured their way to the finish mat to take the Reward, as well as the chance to compete against each other for Individual Immunity.

Jeff Probst then announced that the Challenge for Individual Immunity would involve digging ladder steps out of the sand in order to build a ladder with puzzle-like rungs. The first Survivor to build his ladder and climb it to freedom would win Immunity, a visit to the opposing camp and the ability to grant Immunity to one Yasur tribe member.

The Challenge quickly became a two-horse race between John K. and Chad Crittenden, (oh Chad, I want you to win) as the other Lopevi tribe members struggled to find their rungs. Chad came up first with seven rungs. While Chad set to build his ladder, John K. searched tirelessly for his final rung. Chad, however, had trouble assembling the puzzle-like ladder, which allowed John K. to overtake the lead, assemble his ladder, then climb to freedom and the precious Immunity.

With John K. in tow, the Yasur tribe returned to camp from their crushing defeat. In an attempt to discern the alliance structure of the tribe, John immediately separated the women of Yasur according to who had voted for Dolly Neely, (nice move on John's part I believe) the night before. While John was digesting the information so that he could decide to whom he would grant the Immunity, Eliza talked his ear off. "She seems really sweet," John noted. "I'm sure she's really nice, but the bottom line is, 'Oh my God, will you please stop talking?'"

After stating their case to John K., the younger Yasur alliance convened to decide who they would vote out. While Eliza pushed for Scout Cloud Lee, Mia lobbied for her nemesis, Twila. At the end of the discussion, the women concluded that the night's Tribal Council would most likely end up in a tie. Mia's assessment: "I think that me and Julie and Lisa and Eliza are going to be voting for Twila. And I'm pretty sure that Leann and Ami and Twila and Scout will be voting for me tonight."

Hoping to create a new alliance, Brady Finta, argued to Sarge that Lopevi's elder alliance should be broken up in order to vote off Rory, who doesn't seem to get along with most of his tribe. "It's simple, it's not underhanded and we know our four votes are going in one direction," Brady explained to Sarge.

Personal differences set aside, the initial alliance held strong for Lopevi as John P. suffered the five votes needed to send him home. J.P. became the third Survivor voted off SURVIVOR: VANUATU. BOO! I wanted him to go further, I liked him

At Yasur, John K. granted Immunity to Ami, who he knew was not going to be voted off anyway. In the name of tribal harmony, a Yasur alliance was broken as Lisa sided with the older members of the tribe in order to vote off Mia in the shocking five-to-three decision. Mia became the fourth Castaway voted off SURVIVOR: VANUATU. YIPPEE! So very glad she is gone, now just to get rid of Eliza and I will be very happy

Passed Down through Generations

Wow, I never realized how much my family has influenced me throughout the years. I have found things out about myself that I inherited from generations and generations of West, Degears, Broughtons and so on and so forth. I have found that I got my looks from my great great grandmother on my dad's mom's side of the family, who knew...I got my ability to hold alcohol (to some extent) from the Scottish background, and my stubbornness, the thing I am most well known for, I recieved from my grandpa West. (That makes me proud to be stubborn) But I also discovered that my love for poetry, both reading and writing it, I got from my mom's side of the family. Recently, in the move from one room to the other here at home, I came across a booklet that my mom had given me when she found out that I liked poetry...it is from my great-great grandmother, Mary-Anne Broughton (the Scottish Princess, as she was known by her mother) She is actually really good, although most of her work was slightly depressing and very sad...it lead me to believe that she was not a happy person...but then again, poetry is a way of releasing angry and sadness...so that may be all it is, I suppose I will never know. So I am including three pieces that she wrote when she was my age.

He thinks I still care

Just because I asked my friend about him
Just because I said his name somewhere
Just because I rang his number by mistake today
He thinks that I still care
Just because my head sang "old faces"
Where the memory of him lingers everywhere
Just because I am not the happy girl I used to be
He thinks that I still care
But if he's happy thinking that I still love him
Then let the silly notion bring him tears
How could he ever be so foolish
Whatever gave him that idea

Forget Him

Forget his name
Forget his face
Forget his kiss
His warm embrace
Forget to see him everyday
Remember now he's gone away
Forget you cried the whole night long
Forget him when they play your song
Forget how happy you once were
Remember now, he's chosen her
Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the time he made you mad
Remember now and don't be sad
Forget his gentle teasing way
Forget you saw him yesterday
Forget the things you used to do
Remember now he loves her too
Forget the thrills as he walked by
Forget the times he made you cry
Forget the times he held your hand
Forget those times, now you can
Forget the way he made you feel
Remember now it was not real
Forget the times, it's in the past
Forget the thing, they went too fast
Forget he said he's never leave you
Remember now, he's gone forever
Forget him...
From someone who can't

The Last Words

AND IF HE SHOULD COME BACK,
WHAT AM I TO SAY?
-Tell him that I watched for him
All my life away
AND IF HE SHOULD ASK ME MORE,
NOR KNOW MY FACE AGAIN?
-Speak gently as a sister speaks
He may be in pain
IF HE ASKS ME WHERE YOU ARE
HOW SHALL I REPLY?
-Then give him back the golden ring
Give it silently
AND IF HE SHOULD WANT TO KNOW
WHY THE HALL STANDS BARE?
-Then show him the burnt out lamp
And the door ajar
AND IF HE SHOULD ASK ME
HOW DID YOU FALL ASLEEP?
-Tell him that I smiled and died
Do not let him weep

You are not an accident- (Chapter 2, Purpose Driven Life)

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2a (Msg.)

"God doesn't play dice." Albert Einstein.

"You are not an accident.
Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He was not surprised by your birth. In fact, He expected it.
Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were concieved in the mind of God. He thought of you first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you!
God prescribed every single detail of your bosy. He deliberately chose your race, the colour of your skin, your hair and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way He wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality.
Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when you would be born and how long you would live. He planned the days of your life in advance, choosing the exact time of your birth and death." The Purpose Driven Life, Chapter 2, page 22-23

Wow, I was reading this chapter this morning and it hit me, that yeah, God knows everything about me, even before I do them, He knows what is going to happen...sometimes that makes me feel really horrible...like if I am angry at someone and I end up saying things that I shouldn't...it upsets me to know that God knew I was going to say it before it happened. Yikes! The verses from Psalms 139 come to mind right now...you know the ones I am talking about..."You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something." (MSG)

"Most amazing, God decided how you would be born. Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn't matter whether your parents were good, or bad or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom "you" He had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you.
While there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children. Many children are unplanned by the parents, but they are not unplanned by God. God's purpose took into account human error and even sin." (The Purpose Driven Life, Chapter 2, page 23)

Okay, this one hit hard...I know that I for one always think badly on teenage parents and people who have sex outside of marriage that lands them pregnant...well...I never once stopped to think that God had a plan for those children too. For example, two of my friends got married a month or so ago, and they just let me know that the bride was 5 months pregnant...which means, yep, that baby was conceived before they were married...automatically I thought poorly of them. But now, I remember that ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD! (Romans 3:23) And that God does know that baby and knew that baby was coming for a long long time, and He still loves it and wants it to fulfill its plan...so I now accept that baby and will love it no matter what.

Let's close this entry with a little poem that I came across while reading this morning. It is by a man named Russell Kelfer:

You are who you are for a reason
You're part of an intricate plan
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man

You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose
And no matter how you may feel
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind
And they bear the Master's seal

No, that trauma you faced was not easy
And God wept that it hurt you so
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow

You are who you are for a reason
You've been formed by the Master's rod
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Singing Hearts

Ask not what the world needs, ask rather what makes your heart sing, and go do that, for what the world needs is people with hearts that sing.
-Philip Thatcher

We have become so confused, it seems, about living and the real meaning of our lives.

What if the meaning of life is just the living of it? What is the most any of us has to do is to open up to a conscious contact with God and live out what is right for us while we prayerfully ask for guidance and support?

We spend so much time trying to figure out what other think we should do, and resenting it---what we think other want us to do and resenting it---or what we think we should do, and you guessed it, resenting it. We have little time in all this confusion to see what it is that truly "makes our hearts sing." And that is God

A singing heart could be a great contribution to the universe...why not try it out?

Thoughts for Today

"We have a lot of anxieties, and one cancels out another very often." Winston Churchill

Learning to wait is one of those life lessons that seems to be wasted on the young. Time is often one of the best healers and sorter-outers of our issues. Often, when we do not have a quick solution to a problem, we buck and kick and throw ourselves against the corral of our minds and beings, believing that if we just fling our minds around frantically enough we will find a solution.

We forget that problems and solutions often are not encountered simultaneously. We forget that we are often so distraught when the problem appears that we could not even see that the solution presented itself immediately.

Sometimes, we need to sit with a problem and let it seep into us, without focusing upon it, while we go about our daily work, and we will discover that problems often do, indeed cancel each other out.

It's hard to hear that "still small voice" when you are kicking and screaming inside.

Uncertainty Grips Us All

Well, as I said last week, the new Survivor series has started...and for once, I am not sure if I am totally in to this one...it reminds me a whole lot of the Amazon one...which was never my favourite. Anyways, here is my recap of last nights adventures

On night six of SURVIVOR: VANUATU, the Yasur tribe was forced to make their first, dreaded trek to Tribal Council where they ousted Dolly Neely, in a strategic decision. Finding herself the swing vote in a tribe of two factions, Dolly quickly learned that power is not necessarily a good thing on these islands. Fearing Dolly's control, members from both of Yasur's alliances sent the 25-year-old sheep farmer home in a five-to-four decision.
After witnessing her torch being snuffed out, Dolly admitted, "I wasn't cut out for this. I'm way too simple and I just belong on the farm." Well, duh...of course you do sweetheart.
After suffering yet another freezing and sleepless night, the Lopevi tribe awoke on day four in serious need of a morale boost. Desperately needing to boil their undrinkable water, the thirsty Lopevi tribe banded together in an attempt to build a fire. Just as they were close to igniting a flame by friction, the Vanuatu skies sent down rain, causing all hopes of fire to be washed away. "We know exactly that if we don't get water soon, we're going to be hurting. These girls are going to kick our tails," confessed Travis Sampson. But really, the girls could "kick their tails" anyhow.
Hungry beyond belief, the women of Yasur worked to find food. After struggling to bring down a patch of bananas from a tall tree, the tribe cooked up what was to be a feast of plantains. To their dismay, the tribe found the bananas to be infested with maggots. Some of the tribe members continued to eat them while others simply fell apart. "These young ones, I don't know what they was thinking. If it comes down to eating maggots, I'm gonna eat maggots. Protein. Eat 'em. Shut up!" complained Twila Tanner.
As the tribes convened for the Reward Challenge, Host Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would involve balance and teamwork. Eight castaways from each tribe would stand on a narrow beam over water. One at a time, the Survivors would have to move down the beam, squeezing past their fellow tribe members. If they fall off, they would have to start over. Also, the castaway moving down the beam would not be allowed to touch more than one tribe member at a time. The first tribe to get all eight members to the finish platform would win a Reward of pillows, blankets, and a hammock. Also, the Lopevi tribe, if they were to win, would secure flint, which would help to build a much-needed fire.
The competition started out with members of both tribes getting acquainted with one another in a physical way. After a few failed attempts, Yasur tribe member Eliza Orlins, made her way across, followed by her tribe mate, Julie Berry. Brady Finta, made his way to the finishing platform, allowing the men of Lopevi to tighten the race. The women increased their lead to four tribe members to one as Twila crossed over to the final platform. Lopevi simply could not find their way back despite Ami Cusack, being forced to start over.
After Ami made her way across, the women of Yasur made easy work of the competition and finished well ahead of Lopevi. As the Yasur tribe secured the victory, they celebrated with a dance and cheered to the chagrin of the Lopevi tribe members.
This is my least favourite part of any series of this show. Stupid Jerk! What was his problem anyways...all they did was dance! GRRR...okay, here is what happened: After returning to camp from his second straight defeat, Lopevi member Rory Freeman, was furious as to what he considered poor Yasur sportsmanship. Not sharing in his anger, Rory's tribe mates found it strange that Yasur's celebration bothered him as much as it did. The two losses, coupled with Rory's anger and lack of water, conspired to create a Lopevi tribe that was moving toward disarray.
Meanwhile at Yasur, the tribe awoke refreshed, thanks to their new blankets and pillows. Still hungry, the women of Yasur chased a chicken that had wandered into their camp. Twila's attempts to kill the chicken were in vain; however, the eggs left behind did help quell their hunger. "We almost had us a chicken!" she exclaimed.
Despite all the members getting along, factions were still forming at Yasur. After learning that she had been a target, Twila formed an alliance with Dolly. Dolly and Twila's alliance crossed over the factional lines at Yasur, which were divided between the younger and older women of the tribe. "The younger group would be Mia, Julie, Dolly, Eliza and Lisa. And the older group means more like Scout, Twila, and I think Leann's in the older group," observed Ami.
As the tribes assembled for an Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst explained this competition would test communication, as well as teamwork. The tribes would be required to assemble a series of platforms to an observation deck. Each platform would be made from puzzle pieces. Blindfolded, the castaways would need to retrieve these puzzle pieces from the land and sea with the aid of a fellow tribe member who is not blindfolded. Once all the pieces are gathered, the tribe would then remove their blindfolds in order to put together their platform puzzles. Once the platforms are pieced together, the Survivors would then race to the top of the observation deck. The first tribe to finish all of the platform puzzles would win the crucial Immunity. If Lopevi were to win, they would also receive their coveted flint.
***Now a little side note, this is one of my favourite challenges because so many people run into each other and there is a real possibility that someone will get hurt...but really...it is just funny***
The Challenge started off in chaos as the blindfolded members bumped into each other, as well tree roots and puzzle pieces. Lopevi took the lead by retrieving eight puzzle pieces to Yasur's five. As the action continued, Yasur tribe mate Eliza asked Scout Cloud Lee, if they needed to get another puzzle piece, to which Scout replied, "No, we're good." Scout was mistaken, as there was one final Yasur puzzle piece in the water.
Yasur did not succeed as Lopevi took off their blindfolds and started to assemble their puzzle. Lopevi never looked back as they made quick work of the rest of the puzzles in order to claim their first Challenge of SURVIVOR: VANUATU, which would bring them fire as well as the crucial Immunity.
After experiencing their first defeat, Yasur returned to camp with the unenviable task of having to vote someone out of the tribe at the evening's Tribal Council. The factions and politicking went into high gear with Leann Slaby, and Eliza being on the chopping block. Finding herself as the swing vote, Dolly voiced her concern. "My head is completely spinning and I'm afraid because I don't want to make the wrong choice. I'm definitely in the middle and I hate that."
In the end, Dolly definitely had good reason to hate being in the middle because she was perceived as a threat to the rest of her tribe. The women of Yasur decided Dolly's power was simply too strong, and they chose to eliminate her in the five-to-four decision. Dolly became the second castaway to be voted out of SURVIVOR: VANUATU.

Myself

"A Human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself."
-Henry Winkler

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know
I want to be able as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of person I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all man's respect;
And here in the struggle for fame and wealth,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I am a bluffer, and empty show.
I can neve hide myself from me:
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know;
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and guilt-free.
Peer Counsellor Workbook

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse

Have we ever stopped and let ourselves realize just how much time we spend nodding or winking at blind horses? So often, we believe that it is absolutely essential that others hear what we are saying and understand it completely. If they don't seem to be understanding us, we believe that if we speak more slowly, explain what ever we want them to understand more carefully, and raise the decibels ever so slightly than they will finally get it. It is important to remember that by our first utterance, we can usually get a pretty good idea if someone has any interest whatsoever in understanding what we are saying. If they have no iterest, give up. Most people tend to "not understand" what you are saying to them, because they generally don't care what you are talking about. Not saying these people are being rude in not caring, but it might just be beyond their level of comprehension thus none of their interest is there. If this person points out to you that they really do want to understand what you are talking about, explain it a third time, but then give up, there is no point in acting silly about it. Because really, nodding, winking and blabbling when someone has their eyes and ears closed is silly.

Where were you?

I realize that I am a few days late in this tribute, but what can I say, I am never a punctual person, I can count the number of times I was at work at 7:15 on the dot or earlier on one hand for the entire summer...some how that does not leave me in the "good books" maybe that is why I failed my evaluation...nope, not true, I need therapy.
But anyways, the tribute...September 11 2001. Where were you? I for one was at BLEC, in class when we found out what happened, and honestly, when I was first told, I didn't believe it, I thought it was a big lie because no one could take out the US, it was impossible in my mind. But apparently I was wrong. It was a horrible day, and people will never forget it, I know that I won't. It is one of those days that will live on to infamy...kinda like D-day and Pearl Harbour and Columbine. September 11 will always be remembered for the horrible acts again the States. But what about the horrible acts that the States are committing against Iraq and Afganistan? There are innocent people there too! Wow, I think I spent too much time with Andy Hill this summer...not that it is a bad thing. But yeah, this whole blog is based on a song that I was listening to this afternoon...it made me cry...I know shock, horror, gasp.

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
On that September day
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock
At the sight of that dark smoke
Rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger,
in fear of your neighbour
Or did you just lie down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people
Who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below
Did you burst out with pride for
The Red, White and Blue
And the heros who died,
just doing what they do
Did you look up to Heaven
for some sort of answer
And look at yourself
And what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference between Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love
are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is Love

Where were you when the world stopped turning
On that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty 'cause your a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother
And tell her you love her
Did you dust off your Bible at home

Did you open your eyes
Hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunrise
For the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night
And think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church
And hold hands with some strangers
Go out and give your own blood
Did you just stay home
And cling tight to your family
And thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I don't think I could tell you
The difference between Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is Love

And the greatest is love
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning
On that September day?

Update

~It is my sister's 23rd birthday today, so happy birthday Jen!

~Even though I am not engaged (please note the bold of that NOT) I have found the wedding dress of my dreams

~I am still currently unemployed...although I have apparently been added to a supply list, which is not bad at all.

~The interview I had on Saturday was horrible, I mean, think of the worst conversation you have ever taken part in and times it by 10 and then add in an ex-boyfriend named Dave, and you have got my interview pegged...want details, write me

~My room is now completely finished, all the pictures are now hung on the wall, so it definately has the feel of home.

~I was told today that I looked like an Indian Princess...not sure if that is a good thing or not

~I ran into an old friend at Swiss Chalet today, it was kinda strange, but they told me that I didn't look like a slut anymore, so that is a very good thing.

~I cancelled band practice tonight, and the band got angry at me...what is with that?

~I tripped going into the church sanctuary today, but really, what else is new.

~I went to the team baseball party yesterday and it made me cry because the head coach was saying good bye to all the boys because it didn't look like he would have the coaching job next summer and in the middle of the speech, his cell phone rang and sure enough we have a team next summer, so all the boys are going to play together one last time...so of course I cried more, because that is what I do...and then I got kissed on the cheek by all 11 boys...my brother did not kiss my cheek and one kid didn't even show.

~The boys were given Beer Mugs as their "trophey" for the season, creative right there

~I got a special thank you, even though I did not do anything this year.

~I am being attacked by the kitten right now

~I have not seen my best friends in a really long time, I think I need to fix that.

~I have not seen my boyfriend in a really really long time...but I will be going out east in aprox. 49 days. YAY!

~I am going back up to camp on Friday...yay...why am I not excited about this...oh right Kathy will be there.

I am done. Good night

Some things never change

Well folks, a new season of Survivor is upon us and in my old fashion, I shall provide for you all a run down of each weeks antics. But I would like to just say Congrats to Kalan Porter, the new Canadian Idol, may he serve our country proud.

Thirty-nine days, eighteen new castaways, two tribes separated by gender and one frightening ring of fire. SURVIVOR: VANUATU--ISLANDS OF FIRE has begun. On night three, the newly formed Lopevi tribe was forced to make their first dreaded trek to Tribal Council, where they voted out Brook Geraghty, in a shocking decision. Convinced the tribe would vote out Chris Daugherty, for singlehandedly losing a vital Challenge, Brook was blindsided when he realized he was the victim of an early, unseen alliance within the tribe. Leaving Tribal Council, Brook remarked, "I got beat, bottom line. Some of them got me. They got me good."
Aboard a boat in the clear waters within the island nation of Vanuatu, eighteen strangers from different walks of life eagerly awaited the chance to outwit, outplay, and outlast each other in pursuit of the coveted million-dollar prize. The Survivors were awestruck to see hundreds of indigenous Vanuatu tribe members quickly rush the boat while shouting out a fierce battle cry. Host Jeff Probst explained that before the castaways were going to be welcome on these islands replete with black magic, sorcery and tribal rituals, they would first have to pass local initiation rites.
Upon reaching the shore, the castaways were greeted by spear-wielding Vanuatu warriors, who separated the Survivors by gender. It became obvious that the men were getting treatment superior to that given the women. The Vanuatu tribe Chief offered each man a local drink known as kava while the women were left to watch. After the Vanuatu warriors sacrificed a pig in a ritual, they smeared the blood on the faces of the male castaways, and then issued a challenge. If a male castaway could retrieve a spiritual stone from the top of a pole laden with pig fat, it would bring them good luck. If the male castaway were to fail, then the women would receive the stone and the luck. The first male Survivor chosen for this task was Brady Finta. Brady took to the task with perseverance as he shimmied up the pole and snatched the stone, thus starting off his journey with much-needed good luck.
After being divided into two tribes separated by gender, the Vanuatu castaways headed their separate ways through the dark night in order to find their respective camps. The men's tribe was called Lopevi, while the women were now the Yasur tribe. As the Yasur tribe negotiated the dangerous rocky beach path, factions quickly developed. Scout Cloud Lee, decided she would stop the trek in order to rest until daylight. She was joined by other tribemates while another group of Yasurs, led by Eliza Orlins, wanted to move on. Tension filled the air. "I didn't want to be too pushy because I didn't want to be the odd person out," confessed Eliza.
As the men of Lopevi worked to find their camp in the darkness, they had problems with navigation. Rory Freeman, attempted to lead the tribe. After he pled his case, it was clear that Rory's efforts were in vain and had alienated him from the rest. "Rory, I don't think he's gonna fit in. There's one in every bunch," complained Brook.
After finding their camp and enjoying a good night's sleep, the women of Yasur awoke with the task of building a shelter. It was clear right away that certain members of the tribe thought they had more of a work ethic than others. As Twila Tanner, Ami Cusack, and Scout worked hard to build their shelter, some of the younger members of the tribe, including Eliza and Dolly Neely, basked in the sun while enjoying a relaxing swim. "I call all these sorority girls 'bowheads' because they all like to hang together," observed Scout, "They're like cattle."
Meanwhile at the Lopevi camp, the men were in serious need of fire in order to boil their water. John Palyok, vigorously attempted to ignite a flame, but his efforts were in vain. After the tribe worked to set up their camp, Chad Crittenden, stunned his tribemates by revealing he has a prosthetic foot. Chad explained that he had recently lost his foot in a battle with cancer. The rest of Lopevi were surprised and inspired, but not necessarily merciful. "All the power to him, I totally think that's inspirational," confessed Brook, "but if I have to vote his ass out of here tomorrow, I'm still gonna vote his ass out of here tomorrow."
As the tribes met Jeff Probst for the first Challenge of SURVIVOR:VANUATU, they learned it would be a combination Immunity and Reward Challenge. Jeff Probst explained that this Challenge would be an obstacle course requiring the use of many skills. The castaways first had to go beneath a mud crawl and solve a box maze. Following the box maze, the Survivors must then cross over a very narrow balance beam to light a fire in order to drop a torch. The torch is needed to light a final wok, which would signify the victory, as well as Immunity from the first Tribal Council of SURVIVOR: VANUATU. As a bonus, the winning tribe would also enjoy the reward of flint to help build a much-needed fire.
The competition got off to a dirty start as both tribes navigated the mud crawl. The men made quick work of the puzzle maze and took their lead to the balance beam, where they struggled to cross it one by one. The men maintained their lead until Chris simply could not cross the balance beam. As Chris tried and tried, his tribe witnessed the women of Yasur overtake the lead and go on to the build a fire. Despite being cheered on by his Lopevi tribemates, Chris still could not cross the beam, and the Yasur tribe ignited the wok and torched their way to the crucial Immunity.
After returning to camp from the crushing defeat, most of the Lopevi members deemed it a forgone conclusion that Chris would be the first one voted off because of his balance beam failure. Some members of the tribe had other ideas, however, as Lea Masters, started to build an alliance on the fly with some of the older members of Lopevi. Lea acknowledged that the younger tribe members might be stronger, but they were also cockier and therefore must be dealt with. As Lea explained, "I'm gonna pick the young ones off one by one until there's only four people left."
In the end, Lea's plan was off to a good start as young Brook was shocked to witness the five out of nine votes that made him the first castaway to be voted out of SURVIVOR: VANUATU.